Saturday...

I had to make a BIG decision yesterday and today.
It wasn't easy. I had made a decision earlier already. It's regarding the Intel-Berkeley Technology Entrepreneurship Challenge that I was invited to.

Well, IBTEC is by invitation only and so there is a certain level of prestige.
Berkeley is also paying for the airfare and hotel accommodation. So I'll be treated like a VIP.

I still feel confused even as I type now. I want to go, I really do. I turned it down initially because I simply have too many commitments. And I really feel 'squashed' to a certain extent.
In my final year, after missing out an entire year on engineering, I'm now taking 5 technical electives (gross) and doing my FYP at the same time. All highly technical, all pure engineering.
How about my engineering peers? Those that are not NOC grads?
typically, they are taking 2 to 3 graded modules and FYP. So on average, I'm taking 2 to 3 modules more than them and on top of that, I am 1 year behind almost everyone in engineering terms.

And to top it off, I have no motivation at all. I mean, the motivation is extremely strong to want to succeed. Don't get me wrong, that is stronger than ever. But, I feel like getting out into the workforce now already. I am more than ready for it. I am more ready for it than many people who are already working.

I'm not arrogant. I just feel that my competence has exceeded my original expectations of myself.
I feel trapped in the body of a student when I should be out there, achieving more.

Alright, back to the original story first.
NUS Venture Support called me yesterday morning and the nice guy over the fone tried to persuade me to go. He said that it's an extremely good opportunity. I agreed.
But I have to be responsible to my project teammates. And there are many of them because I have a lot of projects.
The fone call made me feel very confused and troubled. I went to school and looked for my professor and talked to him.

Oftentimes, I feel we are very similar. We are extremely competitive, confident and think we can achieve whatever we want as long as we want to.
He felt that I should go. I was encouraged and I smiled.
I guess that was what I was hoping to hear because I really wanted to go and his opinion gave me an affirming nod.

This morning, I changed my mind again.
The entire issue had been weighing on my mind all day yesterday and tis morning.
It affected my test performance yesterday.
It made my ger unhappy. My mum doesn't tink i should go given all the other commitments.

I am very confused but I have decided i'm not going.

Haiz....

Life is tough huh. When there are no opportunities, one sighs.
When there are TOO many opportunities, I sigh too.

I shall not let my day be affected by this decision anymore. Whatever happens, I will have no regrets because I have thought about it very carefully already.
There are sooooo many opportunities in this world. I have had several come my way. I can't grab all of them though. It is simple math.

Alright, with what I have right now, I will chiong forward again.

I feel overwhelmingly strong. I will overcome anything in my way. That has always been the way and I will ensure that it stays this way.

Jiayou Jinfa... =)

I Can do anything...
And...
I will do whatever it takes...
(",)