Monday...

i didn't reali sleep well again last nite.....i juz had too many thgs on my mind....the deep sleep which i was hoping for to rejuvenate my senses was plagued with dreams of various magnitudes in terms of weirdness....
i dreamt of various frens who appeared in the weirdest of situations....and i can't explain why....

so, i'm still reali quite listless now....
ohh well, and my watch's date is 1 dae slower...and so act yesterday was Xian's and Hui's birthdae....i thot it's todae....kauz....
fortunately, Kevin reminded me juz now....
he was in the vicinity and asked me out for lunch juz now....we haven't met up in quite a long time oredi and had a short chat todae....he still has work tonite....
but we've fixed tis Sunday tentatively for a Ktv session! yay! with my WiseUtd bros!

during the short lunch chat, a couple of thgs we talked abt got me thinking....
first, we both had to concede dat we r no longer as fit as we used to be.....hmm, it's kinda sad, cos although as ppl age, naturally their fitness level deteriorates too....but still, we were reminiscing the daes back in sec sch when we used to dominate the cross-country race every year....

second, he's facing tis situation now which i was facing like half a yr ago....i hav since learnt frm dat lesson....appropriately handed out to me and made me wake up and realise dat i shldn't juz look at the surface of all matters....
my advice to him was not to continue courting tis girl since she has oredi told him her stand.....i feel dat he shld learn to protect himself and oso to spend less time on a girl who might not reali be very serious and is oso trying to protect herself....
well, after all, i've trodden on a similar path before, and who says guys and gals cannot be purely platonic friends?

which brings me to the 3rd issue....
Guys and gals can never maintain purely platonic friendships? Comment...

hahaz, a question lytis will solicit arguments frm both sides of the camp....highly debatable...
juz last wk, a fren had mentioned to me dat she tinks dat it's not possible for a guy and a gal to remain as purely platonic friends....
Kevin seconded dat juz now....
However, i beg to differ.....i feel dat it is possible....At the same time, i can understand their stands too...but i guess it is due to individuals' perceptions....

well, it was a surprise lunch meetup and hopefully, tis sunday i'll get to see my WiseUtd bros....

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well, i'm still quite perturbed by the ambivalence i felt yesterday....

In such situations, should one follow one's heart or shld one follow one's brain?
Brain -- Rational thinking, follows logic and reasoning...
Heart -- Less rational, follows feelings and emotions....

hahaz, feels like i'm regurgitating MNO1001 theories....
yah...jokes aside....Heart or Brain in decision making?
in tis situation which i'm facing specifically, it is definitely a more sensible decision to use my brain....
ohh well, wat's the use of thinkin abt tis right?
i noe i wun be able to fully convince myself regardless of which organ i use to tink.....
forget it den....


haiz....nowadays, i feel less willing to blog abt more personal stuff....
it's partly due to the reason dat i do not noe who is reading my blog actually....i've had many brushes with different ppl who haven't been very happy with some of my contents....and it isn't reali very fun having to try to explain to ppl and patching up relationships....
I never knew dat it was dat easy to find someone's blog.....
I tried it juz now in Google and Yahoo search.....with my name....Jinfa....
and in less den 2mins, i could find tis blog address oredi.....

it makes me feel vulnerable....and is oso discouraging my willingness to blog....
maybe i shld take precautionary measures by using fictitious names like some of my other frens r doing huh....
well, i don't noe....
i've never liked to hide....i want to express my thots freely and openly in MY blog.....and since it is MY blog....why the heck shld i care abt wat other ppl tink?
After all, i started a blog for myself...for future references, for future flashbacks down the memory lane of myself....i DON'T blog to entertain ppl....i DON'T blog to attract attention, i DON'T blog to anger ppl....
I blog for myself....i started off with dat thot in mind and i've alwaiz had dat thot in mind....
No intention whatsoever to gain more readership....wat's the point right? i'm not dat bo liao.....
if i am making advertising commission for doing so, yes, maybe it is being justified....but i'm not!

if they r not happy abt it, stop reading....right? Freedom of speech in a democratic society....isn't dat the case??
and besides, if i deem the content suitable enuff to be blogged and published, i reali hav no qualms abt anyone reading it....i mean dat....
so dat means dat if the ppl who read it r offended, den a possible reason is dat it has hit the nail on the head....or struck some raw nerve....

Of course, i am not an unscrupulous person going out to malign ppl...neither am i an insensible person trying to wreck relationships....
but i concede dat sometimes, my confidence and enthusiasm gets the better of my rational thinking...
Alright, with respect to dat, it's something which i definitely need to improve on....

But i guess, in the meantime, whilst being a little more careful in wat i blog abt....i'll still deposit sufficient faith in online blogs to not change the meaning of my thots....

Follow my Heart or follow my Brain?

Am still tinkin....