Thursday...

it has been a long, tiring dae again.....
sighz, sometimes i start thinkin....y am i doing all these.....yes, i'm meeting all the various groups of ppl whom i wanna meet before i fly....
but at the expense of adequate rest and recovery time, i sometimes feel so sleepy and lethargic when meeting frens....
it doesn't juz compromise the quality of the meeting up or gathering but i oso feel dat it's not reali nice to take up their time when i'm not in the best state of mind myself....
So, i'm sorry to all those frens or relatives whom i've met when i was feeling so sleepy....reali....my sincere apologies...

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i went to collect the air tickets first thing after having my lunch....
dat was the first event on my itinery todae...

a pretty brief event, i was done by 3pm....
and so i thot i'd drop by to visit Zhiwei since i was arnd the area....
had a short chat with him and his colleagues whom i didn't noe....

went to my grandma's place after dat.....but, i'm going to talk abt tis part in the last section of todae's post....

SKIP

had my JC class gathering tonite....fotos not up yet as i haven't received them frm Ade yet...
it was a nice gathering....
there were 12 of us todae....
Siyuan, Yongcheng, Melvin, Samuel, Siqi, Chloe, Ade, Weiqi, Xiankan, Swee Cheng, Darryl and me...
i've not seen a couple of them in quite a long time oredi and so i was pleasantly surprised when they turned up...

I reali muz thank my bro....Darryl for taking so much effort to organise tis outing....
it's not easy to bring everyone tog since we r all frm the 3 different unis, and some hav graduated and working (girls) while some r having their attachments or holding parttime jobs....
it took alot of liaising and coordinating to get everything settled.....
thks bro.....i reali appreciate it alot....

we had dinner at PS....Manhattan Fish Place.....recommended by Darryl....
very much like Fish and Co. but the prices seem to be slightly lower....but the quality and quantity certainly weren't compromised....
i enjoyed the food as well as the chats over dinner....
being a large crowd, we generated alot of noise as well....

It seemed abit like a networking event even....with the girls exchanging namecards....and i wanted theirs too....
reminds me of those professional networking events....
wat does tis tell us?
we hav all grown up....
and in a few yrs time, ALL of us will be exchanging namecards, sipping red wine, enjoying our steaks, chatting abt property, finances, golf tips, etc etc.....

See u all in 1yr's time....
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i felt sickened by myself tis aftn....
at my grandma's house, i was feeling so tired, so lethargic, so sleepy.....
i felt like sleeping....
i couldn't chat much....
i even started looking at the watch a few times.....
i'm such a jerk.....

eventually, i started walking arnd abit to keep myself awake....
my uncle returned frm work and i was happy to see him cos the many times i had visited, i didn't manage to bump into him...
by dat time, i had to leave soon oredi....cos i was meeting my jc frens after dat...

i chatted with my uncle and grandma for another 15mins more....
i repeatedly asked my grandma not to worry abt me...dat i'll take care and all dat...
i could see tears welling up in her eyes....
i didn't expect dat...

i felt reali bad....i wun see her for 1yr and yet i was feeling so lethargic before dat! damn me....
i took extra effort to assure her dat i'll be fine and i'll take care....
and she took her handkerchief to wipe her eyes....

reluctantly, and with heavy footsteps, i bade them goodbye and asked my uncle to take care of my grandma as well as himself...
as i walked towards the mrt station, i looked back up across the road and up at their flat, my uncle was waving goodbye to me like how he used to many many many yrs back when i was a child...

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to parents, their children will alwaiz be children.....regardless of their ages....
i guess i'm still a child in my parents' and my grandma's eyes....
i'll be 23 come Oct.....but i can understand y they can't help but worry....
it's not cos i'm incapable of taking care of myself....

it's cos it's the first time i'm leaving home for so long a stretch to so far a place....
and parents will alwaiz worry abt their children....

my grandma's tears tis aftn reignited the drive, the flame within me.....
Now,
i want even more to make my mark in the States....
i want to prove to her and everyone else dat i can take care of myself...
i want to alleviate their worries....
i want even more to succeed in life....
i want even more to achieve my goals and dreams....

i felt like i could fly......not literally of cos, but it's the surge of adrenaline which flooded my senses all at once....
i felt the welling up of energy within.....
i felt a powerful burst of drive dat made me wan to shout out at the top of my voice at the peak of the tallest building or mountain....
i felt unstoppable....
i felt the familiar feeling, the feeling of self-confidence, the feeling of being in total control, the feeling of knowing wat i wan, the feeling of knowing wat to do, the feeling of knowing the destination and how i'm going to reach it, the feeling of a perservering and never-say-die spirit....

In a nutshell, I felt MYSELF again.....

i was telling Xiaotian online last nite and Darryl juz now dat in tis 1yr, we shld and must hav our own achievements to show for.....
our own progress to be proud of....
Progress....a forward movement in the positive sense....in any aspect we individually deem as important....
my dear frens who r reading tis....

1 year.....improve ourselves alright?
When i'm back, when we meet up, tell me abt ur progress over tis 1 year.....and i'll tell u mine.....
and we'll celebrate our progresses den.....with fine dining and jubilant chats.....

dat is wat i wish to see and is wat i'm envisioning right now......
when faced with seemingly insurmountable difficulties....view them not as barriers but as challenges....
as many of my frens shld noe.....my fav quote....up there on my blog....
For every problem, there is a solution.....
Sometimes solutions r not easily found, but with a bit of perserverance and the right attitude....they can be discovered.....

so much for my own pep talk.....
it's time to sign off here...albeit with a little more solemn den usual mood.....

i'Ve rediscovered my dRivE And eNtHusiAsM.....

my mind is starting to clear.....

i'm bAcK!