Friday...

time to pour out my thots again....

5.55pm now...usually at this time i'll still be studying at Yishun BK....alone...like the previous 2 sems...but todae I absolutely couldn't take it anymore....like wat a fren said....'brain juice totally dried up' .... it was literally so....I stared at the numbers, the equations....and like total strangers, they stared back at me....both not knowing what to do....I switched from Systems & Control to Digital Design....again to no avail....sux...and bk was so empty....dono where the usual uni and A lvl and O lvl students hav gone to....

i've been so sapped of late....physically and mentally....mentally, the brain feels so tired, so dried up....physically....equally bad....areas which are supposed to be big have shrivelled....(muscles), and areas (tummy, butt, face), which shld be smaller in proportion....are starting to BULGE...wat the hell.....

engineering education has its pros and cons....tis is wat i realise after 3 sems....at the very least, it trains its students to become systematic, logical processing human robots....well, maybe dat doesn't sound like a pro does it? hahaz, dat's the best i can tink of for now.....CONS....it totally undermines my creativity....it trains me to think vertically, introduces artificial constraints...and minimises my divergent thinking....many a times, while studying for the MNO module i'm taking this sem, I realised that I alwaiz am looking for the perfect answer, which is the way with engineering problems....but hell no, that is not the case for business problems, which I know too...but my brain seems to have been washed....I certainly do not want to become a humanoid!!! this is a caution for those who are considering engineering education!!! haa, it's not dat bad oso lah...maybe i'm more suited for business....but then again, having an engineering degree has its own merits as well, which i won't discuss here...

Have been thinking of another issue of late....Cos every semester, everyone around me is either tired, stressed, sianz, dull or all of the above....Why? How many people out there actually study so hard genuinely for the sake of education and learning? HOW MANY??? I cant even think of a single 1.....so what is all this shit for? Just to maintain or obtain a glorious CAP score....well, I certainly think that that must be the case....right? Since there are not that many reasons left...isn't that a sad fact of life? Although I must concede that I personally am trying to maintain my results.....who remembers what the hell Green's Theorem, Thevinin's Thm, Schrodinger's eqn, Dijkstra's algorithm, carnot engines, and so on.....NO....i have not many recollections of the above and any of the other theorems, laws, equations after each semester!!!
Sighz....I guess this is a fallacy of Singapore's education system isn't it? This system is pretty efficient though, cos its outputs are pretty consistent....but is being consistent necessarily good?
No way....it totally inhibits creativity and what's the use of having 1000 of the same kind of person? With singapore encouraging entrepreneurship....I tink the system has to be modified to become more flexible....

For the moment, I guess ppl like myself and those in my cohort and +- 3yrs....have to try our best to break out of this routine if we yearn to....We understand that having good academic results alone certainly do not guarantee future success, but it is indeed societal forces which are pressurising us to do well and continue to do so....thinking along this line, life could perhaps be better if we devote some of the energy which we spend on studying to other areas? Like developing and nurturing relationships?? Aren't relationships one of the most important aspects of life? I personally think they are....

After having written so much, unfortunately, I do not feel any more enlightened that 10mins ago....but at least I feel better after pouring out my thoughts....

3 more days to my first paper, and 10 more days to my last paper....can't wait man....i'm like a baby bird which can't wait to fly out of the nest....into the skies and be free....

to all who are fighting this battle too.....all the best....let's fight this together....and celebrate tog thereafter.....regardless of the outcome, we'd have already done our part, if not our utmost...and shld look forward to the holidays where ALL of us deserve the break....

for now.....it's time to come back to reality....and some more rest before i have my dinner....

10 days left.....