Saturday...

it has been a week filled with emotions...mostly nostalgia...
I've been wanting to blog about it but tis has been a very busy week for me, doing some work for my company, meeting friends, playing golf, swimming, badminton, mahjong, and so on... =)

well, the main focus of tis blog post is nus friends-centric...
I'm not exactly sure where to start, but I'll start somehow anyhow and zip back and forth through time whenever necessary...

On Monday, I jioed Zhiwei and Junhui to go back to NUS with me...
Two years ago, we had once made a verbal pledge to return to NUS after we graduate to take a walk and look around the familiar premises, the various spots which r so integral parts of our fond memories in this institution...
Junhui and I arrived first...and while waiting for Zhiwei, we sat for about half an hour in LT7A...
ohh boy, did the memories ooze so fluidly from our minds...
we spoke about our first two years in NUS, where we spent a considerable amount of lecture time in this lt...we spoke about the past gossips...the exciting, juicy yet sometimes words dat were onli suitable for some ears... =p
It was nostalgia at its peak...actually, the whole dae was nostalgia at the peak...hahaz...

When Zhiwei arrived, we walked to Olive Cove together...it's a small but cosy and comfortable Thai cafe within the heart of engineering faculty where the main memories were built in the final year of our studies...
The staff there treated us to iced mocha, which is wat we usually order when we r there...and we used to go there like thrice a week or sth, so ppl there know us well... =)
As I drank the iced mocha, looked around and chatted with two of my best friends in NUS, mixed feelings overwhelmed me...
I felt happy sitting down there with the right company, sipping coffee, enjoying the relaxed ambience which we have always craved for within the faculty (which explains y we always went there for lunch or proj meetings), recollecting memories of the place, of the past year in NUS (for me, it was even more meaningful as the final year meant alot of things-explained more later), recollecting memories of our entire NUS life...and knowing that we won't be returning to this small but beautiful cafe as regularly as we did...
We eventually took a photo with the lady boss and another staff whom we fondly speak of...and then we left to explore the rest of engineering...

We walked past LT6...the benches...some of the benches where we slogged like mad doing our EE2001 in year 2...as a matter of fact, dat was my favorite semester of all 8...including those in US...
Year 2 Sem 2 was unbeatable...it qualifies as the best semester I've ever had in my NUS life...
The struggling together in that semester amongst 4 of us; Zhiwei, Junhui, Changsheng and I...as we handled normal EE student's workload and on top of dat, we stretched ourselves by doing the EE2001 project which onli year 3 students took...the struggling helped to bond us even closer...
it was dat semester when I became much closer to Zhiwei and Changsheng...it was as if we had taken a giant leap across a chasm which still existed to a certain extent even after we really got to know each other at the beginning of Year 2...
The tears, the sweat, the frowns, the grumbles, the laughter, the jokes, the corny things dat we did...
they will forever be deeply etched in my memory...
i dono, my language ability simply restricts how i can appropriately describe this feeling in words...i just can't...it's something very personal...no one perhaps, will be able to understand tis feeling other than the four of us...
Yes, it must be very personal... =)

We then walked to the labs...where Zhiwei and I spent some of our time on our FYP...we chatted with the lab officer and one of the pHd students for quite a long time...
tis place has a place in my memory too but not quite fond ones...cos the FYP experience, to be honest, has been one which I perhaps would not want, if the option is reopened to me...because of the various difficulties experienced when i returned from US...

After that, we spent some time sitting down in LT6 and LT7A again...walking into a dark and empty LT and switching on the lights felt very significant to us...
we were the onli ones in there...
in the past, during lectures...the whole places were always filled with hustle and bustle...with all the chattering going on...with the lecturer's voice...
when the few of us sat together...including others in wat i call my NUS EE clique...we were always making funny jokes and gossiping about ppl in the midst of lectures once we got tired and faded away from the lecture... =p

I miss those daes...ALOT...and knowing wat a person I am, I will always think back of those times...

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Ohh yah, let me define who I consider in the NUS EE clique...
it is hard to exactly define because some people have moved in while others hav moved out slightly...if there were inner to outer circles within tis clique, everyone will be like stars on an orbital path, moving to different orbits at different points in time...with some always at certain orbits...

Zhiwei has always been in the innermost orbit...this guy is someone I onli started to really know in Year 2...actually that was the holidays in year 1...the june holidays...Junhui and I were talking abt the CSC thingy and we managed to pull Zhiwei in too...and ever since, there has been no turning back...our friendship soared to greater heights and I find myself looking up to him as a role model in many instances...
He was the one who changed how I dressed to school...and I consider it an important transformation because he taught and showed me the importance of respect to our lecturers...and today, I apply the same principle to whoever I meet and in the days to come, my business clients...
A very intelligent guy, he's someone whom I have always held in very high regard and I'm glad he has always been around providing friendly competition, motivation, giving me sound advice and oftentimes bringing my back safely to the ground if i ever became complacent or unapproachable...thanks bro!

Junhui...hahaz...we have known each other for wat...14yrs! he has also been in the inner circle all the time...although there r certain times when we don't seem to have met as often, we always find no problem in talking, jabbing each other with silly jokes and so on...
A very intelligent guy too...he studies little but at the end of the dae, still manages to produce the necessary results...as he has justifiably proved by graduating with second upper honors...
actually, some of our team projects would have been much more boring without him...it has always been his corny jokes and sometimes out of the world actions dat make us laugh like mad...hahaz...
it's just so damn funny...and i'm glad he has always been around the last few years...an integral part of our clique...

Shux...i'm running out of time...so I will have to continue in Parts 2, 3 and maybe more in the next blog posts...
Before I end off, the other people in our clique are:
Changsheng, Jiarong, Meijia, Tingting, Kaijie, Elysia, Victor...

I will talk more about everyone else the next time! and other experiences! =)

Thanks my dear bros and friends...
I couldn't have been where I am without ur support and company all tis while...
Cheers to forever friendship! And Success! =)

Saturday...

Just returned home from a gathering with a few of my NUS friends, Zhiwei, Junhui, Victor, Kaijie and Dominic...it was an all guys night out...

we spent a few hours at Brewerkz trying out a flavor of beer which most of us have not tried before called the Fruitwertz or something lydat...and then we took two cabs over to geylang to eat the famous beef hor fun...which is sth which I had never tried before oso...

it was a very fun night out...full of crappy jokes, updating each other abt our respective grad trips, about wat we have been doing the last few weeks, sharing gossips, talking about our future plans, etc...

Maybe it was the beer, but I personally think that it is because of the fact that we have moved to the next phase that has made me much more relaxed...
Basically, in our conversation, NUS is already history...
Sure, we talked about the fun times, the tough times and so on...but it is already history...

Moving on, everyone of us has our own career and life plans...
I sure would like to see all of us doing very well in all aspects...

I really enjoyed tonight tremendously...it has been a long time since i felt so relaxed and able to totally chill out...
Not sure if anyone else who reads this can understand the feeling...but it really feels like a huge stone has been released from my shoulders and I felt light...
It's not just during tonight's gathering but ever since this morning...I felt light, without a heavy burden on me...

Moving forward, there r many more things to do...
More updates later...I'm feeling pretty sleepy...it's going to be 2.30am soon...
Goodnight! =)

Great gathering guys! =)

Friday...

I just returned from Genting last night after a 3days trip with my NUS friends...on the way home, something came to my mind about a phrase I knew and recently heard from a friend I met...

Choosing the right battles...

Yah, I knew it all along but had forgotten about it...perhaps it's because I'm young...I feel that I can fight every single battle that comes along and win all of them...

Well, I was wrong...I can't fight every single battle and win...
I could win many of those battles i choose to fight, but will I win the war?
Maybe not...and likely not...
Winning the battles but losing the war...dat's a huge consequence that is both unwise and foolish...
Yet I committed this mistake...this miscalculation...this over-confident yet foolish error...

It is an important lesson to learn...
I managed to do quite well from my NOC experience...and should be one of the higher achievers in my batch...I have been strong academically too; always a candidate for first class honors...
Even though most of my NOC seniors and peers return to Singapore apparently weaker academically, I nevertheless wanted and felt I could get my first class honors...
And on top of that, I pursued many other commitments in the first 6 months I returned to Singapore, with mostly career boosting commitments and also a heavier academic workload than typical electrically engineering students...

Well, not everyone can have the cake and eat it too...
I surely learnt the lesson the hard way...I had the cake...but wasn't able to finish it...

Today, I have graduated only with a second upper honors degree...
Sure, I fell sick for a couple of months earlier this year which compromised my ability to pursue the first class honors...but was that really the cause?
I should think not...

Ultimately, I have only myself to blame...
I was too greedy...I chose to fight every battle and expected to win the war too...
Even Zhuge Liang might not have tried that...cos he knew it would likely result in defeats all around...

That's why I say that this is an important lesson to learn, not just for myself but for anyone who reads this...

Nevertheless, like my gf told me just now, my mum would still be very proud of me...
I ought to be proud of myself and adjust my expectations...
cos if I don't, the perfectionist nature will kill me sooner or later...

it's time to move on...

more later...

Goodbye NUS, thanks for everything...
I appreciate it... =)

Thursday...

Today is 22nd May 2008, and I'm back from Western Australia! =)

Wow, Shiqi...it's amazing...u still read my blog???
I didn't think there would be anyone else reading my blog given that I rarely update it anymore...

Anyhow, I concur with your view that generally speaking, the rougher the path, the greater the rewards or yields. Well, that is consistent with investment principles, which has always been the case of higher risk, higher rewards. In life, it's often the case of no pain, no gain. They are all the same and I agree entirely.

That is why I also agree that generally speaking, the tougher the obstacles, the more glory in overcoming them.
It's been a long time since I used this phrase. Feels good repeating it now. =)

The next thing you mentioned about was the the fact that success is really self-defined. Again, I agree. However, it is often easier said than done in reality because people tend to mind what others think to certain extents as well as the society's definition of success. Of course, there are people who claim that they do not mind all that. But how many really mean that when they say it?
Life's many experiences, both ups and downs can create new personalities in people, can create new dreams, goals and aspirations and new perspectives towards life...

Sometimes, I really wish I can take a peek into other people's lives because that would allow me a more accurate yardstick of how much I have experienced relative to them. There are numerous other kinds of benchmarks and I do know where I stand compared to most people but there are the more intangible aspects of life such as crises...
In this regard, I actually do feel that I have gone through a few crises in life already. Again, the keyword is relativity because it is easy to see that someone who has undergone greater crises will deem this as unworthy of mention.

Hope you have been fine Shiqi...let's meet up soon...I just met Isabelle the week before prior to my trip to Australia. We always mentioned you because we haven't seen you in a long time.

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The trip to Western Australia was interesting. I'm using 'Western Australia' instead of Perth because we only spent 1.5 to 2 days in Perth itself and more time north and south of the capital of WA.

Anyhow, it was interesting partly because the day before the departure and during the first 2 days of the holiday, my mum and sis were stuck in Chengdu, China. Yes, the city approximately 60miles from the epicenter of the worst earthquake in a century to hit Sichuan. I was very worried about their safety as the aftershocks continued relentlessly.

For them, it constitutes a part of their memory which they now call interesting and priceless largely because they were able to return to Singapore unscathed and safe. I was so glad when they finally touched down in Singapore safe and sound even though the earthquake struck merely 3-4hrs after they landed in Chengdu Airport. Also, they were supposed to have been up in the mountains at the time of the earthquake if not for the fact they there was a last minute arrangement to wait for another tour group to join them. This tour group was supposed to arrive later. They were eventually routed to Kunming because of the earthquake. However, thanks to them, the tour group my mum and sis were in did not depart for the mountainous region but rather, wait for them at the airport.

Anyhow, another important experience in life. We better cherish everything that we treasure and possess.

Back to Western Australia.
The pace there is excruciantingly slow and uncomfortable. The lifestyle is too laidback for my liking and comfort. Everyone knows about the infamous closing of most shops and businesses by 5pm but it felt worse when we were there than when we heard and tried to imagine it.
Everyday was very short because only a couple of activities could be completed before everyone packs up and goes home. I spoke to some natives there and it is interesting to know that some of them want a change in this regulation too.

The cost of living is extremely high. Much higher than in Singapore and sometimes more expensive than in the US too. I have been thinking about the reasons.
During the trip, I thought alot about the Australian economy too. Coupled with my own knowledge about the country's politics and economy as well as conversations with the locals, it confirmed my analysis that Australia is a hugely resource-driven economy. They are doing especially well in commodity boom times such as in the last few years, especially now.

Australia has huge reserves of resources such as iron ore, copper, titanium and much more. BHP Biliton is the world's largest mining company and it is Australian. China and many developing and developed countries which are resource hungry have been going places such as Africa, Brazil and Australia for resources. I won't go into detail about the economics of all these because it will lead to an extremely long paper. Anyhow, this has helped to prop up Australia's economy and the Australian dollar has been very strong too, helping to shield its people from inflationary pressures perhaps felt more strongly in the US.

I was just wondering again, if Australia did not have the kinds of natural resources as they do, can Western Australia afford to be so laidback? Probably not, unless they are willing to lose their economic standing in the world today.

Singapore, on the other hand, has no natural resources other than human beings and education. It has recently been ranked 2nd in the World Competitiveness Ranking by top European business schools and highlighted by Businessweek, trailing US by onli 0.7 points and is slated to become #1 next year.
Again, very amazing when one looks at Singapore's size, lack of natural resource, geographic region where almost every other country in SEA is a developing one and with many facing political problems. Also, Singapore's relative short period of independence further lends credence to the capabilities of its government and citizens.

I feel very proud to be a Singaporean.

Alright, that will be all for today. I prefer to discuss and analyze verbally and graphically rather than typing it out all alone. Hahaz...

I'm proud to be a Singaporean... =)

Thursday...

It is 8th May 2008 today.
I'm filled with all sorts of thoughts...some of which are accumulated from months or even years ago; some of which are more recent ones...

I have thought of writing a short summary of my life over the last 25 years, with a focus on the last 4yrs, which have actually seen greater changes in myself...
For now, I will make do with making this post; which I feel is necessary...

I bumped into an old friend today. My primary school friend.
We have known each other since p1, when we were 7. That is about 18yrs ago. Amazing huh, am I that old already?
He was an intelligent boy. I can't remember for sure whether we were in the same class for 6yrs, but he was definitely in the same class as me in p5 and p6, which was the EM1 class. He was a pretty close friend of mine. We hung out together to play soccer before and after classes as well as tuition at Mr Gan's class (which was ultra great fun btw). The only unfortunate thing was that he once had a bout of fever when he was younger which caused some damage to this hands. Nevertheless, he was fortunate enough to have survived that.

Today, on the way home, I saw him walking in front of him. We stay quite close to each other but since primary school, we have not been in contact since as we went to different secondary schools.
I did not approach him just now although I felt like because I wasn't sure what we could have talked about. Well, that was lousy, wasn't it? And to think that I take pride in being able to network and speak with strangers eloquently.

I hope he has been fine. I miss the days when we were so carefree back in primary school, playing soccer all day long, laughing at each other and others, watching cartoons together, playing games, attending school.
I met up with another two primary classmates just about a month ago. One is in NUS now while the other will be receiving his PhD in Engineering next year from Imperial College, UK.
All achievers.

When we were kids, we wanted to grow up. Parents and adults laughed at us, telling us that we would not say that once we were grown up. I did not really buy that advice.
Now, I believe it entirely.

Life is so filled with challenges at the adult level, from studies to health to being sociable enough to career and to family, amongst many other widely-recognized achievements in life.
The path I have trodden on so far has not been a bed of roses.
As a matter of fact, it has been extremely rough at times.
Few people know it. At this age, few people would have the chance of stepping on such a path. I dealt with it. I picked myself up when I fell down. I overcame all odds. I have scaled greater heights repeatedly. I am finally closer to being able to realize my innate potential, which I have always believed to be high. I have been able to stretch myself further by extending my personal limits.

But it has not been easy doing all these. It has not.
It comes with a price. And what is the price?
Well, I fell sick. It was a warning sign that it was time to slow down a little and allow my body and health to recuperate. Having been very fit all my life, health and fitness had never been concerns. Now, it has started to be so after the warning lights flashed. I have started to pay more attention to this and make sure that I get sufficient rest.

Mental as well as physical challenges have been aplenty. Having loaded myself with responsibilities that are heavier than what one ought to carry, I felt very tired, yah, both mentally and physically. This mainly stretched for close to 2yrs. It has probably improved slightly recently.

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Arriving at the question I have been thinking alot about of late...
What do I want in life? What do I consider as success?

It is so difficult to answer the question. I'm sure many people agree.
Across hundreds to thousands of centuries, human beings probably have struggled with this question endlessly. I have seen some seniors who are greater achievers than myself stepping back and asking themselves the same question. They felt empty and were not the happiest people even though they had achieved in their careers what few others could have done in the same duration. They were the envy of strangers and pride of parents. But they were not happy enough. They felt tired too.
What's wrong?
This is something which I have started to feel, at an even earlier age than some of them. Maybe that is because of the tougher path I have had to walk all these years. Maybe I have matured earlier than most other people my age or even those slightly older than me. Maybe I am experiencing everything in life earlier than others because of my more matured and tested mentality.

Increasingly, I feel I cannot connect with some friends. Sometimes, what they say or feel are what I had felt quite some time back. I wish to participate and empathize, but sometimes, it feels tough because it doesn't feel that relevant to me anymore.

Many friends come to me for advice with regards to various areas of life. I appreciate that and see it as a form of honor. I have helped many of my friends by giving them sincere advice. It makes me happy when I see the look or sound of 'oh, why didn't I think of that' on my friends' faces or voices after I dispense with the advice. This is especially so when they see improvements as a result of my advice. I feel happy when I am able to help others.

So is this what makes me happy?
Helping others.
Maybe.

Again, this is an over-generalization. I can be helping others at countless situations. It is hard to specify.

I am going to Perth next week with my girlfriend.
I hope I will feel more enlightened, relaxed, rested, more grateful and well after this trip.

For Health and Glory!

Sunday...

recent events have given me a stern wake up call to reappraise my life goals and priorities...

in recent years, i have grown to become obsessed with success in every single tangible aspect of life.
I wanted to be the best in everything; academic results, overseas achievements, extracurricular activities, breadth and depth in business exposure, sports, girlfriend, etc...

I wanted to be the best of everything and have the best of everything...
In some of this aspects, I have achieved my objectives. In fact, in most of these aspects, in relative terms as compared to my college year, I have triumphed most people.

But it came as a compromise to my exercise regime, my keep-fit goals. I used to work out very regularly but not quite so in the last few years, especially in the last 2 years. 'Busy with work' was always my reason, or rather, excuse. It was the truth though. I seemed to have neverending work. And it was almost always because of my own preference. I preferred to be busy. I wanted to squeeze as many activities and plans into a second as possible. It was tiring sometimes.

Now, that happened probably because of the direct opposite kind of lifestyle i led in my teenage and pre-teenage years. I have been near both the ends of the spectrum.

It's time to balance everything again; to do things in the principle of moderation.

Health, family, career, friends.
They are all important. I will spread my focus and energy more evenly now.

Have a good week ahead!

I have learnt...

Sunday...

Just wanna try to publish a quick post before sleeping...

I have had so much fun, happiness and excitement the last two days. It all centered round the group of NOC NCBV mentors who had come to Singapore for a short business cum travel trip.

Prof Jan, Prof Babin, Joe Sun, Megan and Eric.

I will post pictures later. It has been so wonderful.

They have been great benefactors of us and to myself personally. Again, I find it immensely hard to express how I feel about them and the entire NOC NCBV experience in just a single blog post. It is perhaps something hard to imagine and comprehend unless one goes through it.

A few of us brought them around town today. We went to Little India, Bugis Junction, Waterloo Street, Chinatown, One Fullerton and finally, The Esplanade.

More details and photographs later.

I couldn't bear to let them leave for their hotel eventually (they are flying back to Philadelphia tomorrow). I gave Prof Jan, Megan and Joe Sun (who were the only ones left at 10+pm) tight hugs each. They said very kind words and I guess I will continue to miss them lots. I wonder if they had been 'Singaporeanized' or I had been 'Americanized' or perhaps a little of both and other factors; I felt very comfortable and close with them back in Philadelphia and now in Singapore. It is as if we have known each other for an even longer time.

I guess that I have to make it a point to keep in touch with all of them as one of my 2008 resolutions.
I'll gladly do so. =)

I was very happy interacting with all the NOC NCBV alumni who turned up yesterday and today. With my batch and my junior batch NCBV people, it felt even more intimate. It was in fact, very 'close'. We used to have our long chats, drinks, parties, gatherings, chill-outs, etc. at our houses in Philly or at some food joint/bar. Now, we have been having it in Singapore the last 2 days. The feeling was incredible, to say the least.
Even though we have not see none another for a few months, it felt almost exactly the same as before! We still hav a lot to talk to each other about; we didn't feel any stranger with each other at all. In fact, many of us felt even closer than before.

Wow, I'm so perked up and ZAPPED again. The energy, the enthusiasm, the potential, the ever-higher achievements and the rare calibre of such an outstanding group of people put together just makes me feel really really good all over again.

They have given me a new boost of energy; the kind I always felt when I was back in the US.

Thank you everyone. I will continue with the NCBV spirit.

I will remember all the kind, encouraging and sensible advice of everyone.

Thank you.

I will describe more in detail later. For now, I hope they will have safe flight back to Philly and I will look forward to my Vietnam trip this coming week with my bao bei, which I expect to be great too. =)

I miss my US experiences,
I miss Philly,
I miss PENN, I miss Wharton,
I miss Ludlow Angels,
I miss PayQuik,
I miss Bus 44, I miss the american airlines,
It's amazing, phenomenal, surreal.
It's the greatest thing that ever was conceived for the lucky few in NUS.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I will carry this spirit and achieve wonders in Singapore and in the world!
Trust me, I will exceed all expectations again and all the time! =)