tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-178887902024-03-24T01:48:21.316+08:00Jinfa's Thots... From Dreams to Reality....The tougher the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it... =)Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.comBlogger472125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-74262417016269300202011-01-31T23:57:00.002+08:002011-02-01T00:17:56.911+08:00Monday...<br /><br />To be fair, there are nice people in my life.<br />When shit happens, I also know of people who may stick around, in theory at least.<br />I am also pretty sure who will definitely stick around, and who will not, in the practical sense.<br /><br />Of the people in the last category, I can probably count using one hand.<br />There are really not that many persons whom I can 100% count on when I need to do so...<br /><br />This is my first post in almost 2yrs...<br />Why this is so, I can't really explain...but certainly, it implies that I had become more reliant on other channels of expressing myself since the days when I felt that blogging as a means to voice my thoughts was cool...<br /><br />Maybe it's high time to switch back to the blog...<br />At least, I will not encounter resistance so frustrating that it pisses me off...What's the worst thing that can happen as I type?<br />Lose internet connection? Blogger.com goes down? Laptop crashes?<br />Still, not quite the same order of magnitude of frustration as what a fellow human being can cause...<br /><br />I have grown increasingly skeptical and cynical over the years...<br />Of people, of things that have happened to me, of simply, the world...<br />Today, the cumulative effect has resulted in me trusting no one fully except for one or two persons at best...(and that number includes myself)...<br /><br />Maybe it's better to be this way?<br />Like with everything in life, there are always pros and cons; trade-offs almost always exist...<br />While this means that I may never have a moment of peace, it also means that I reduce the probability that I will be hit by that one, BIG wham type of hit that will crumble my knees to a you-will-never-be-able-to-stand-up again position...<br /><br />In a way, I feel that I have been semi-forced to such a mindset now...by the chain of events that have taken place in my life the last 10years...<br /><br />All the more now, I don't believe I can fully trust anyone outside of that one or two persons to stand by me in any situation...<br />I had been assuming, for the last few years that there will be a new candidate to join this niche category...but cracks have begun to show...and I'm less sure than I was...<br />Maybe the transition to the next stage will still take place...but whether the door to the niche can be opened (I don't own the keys), only time can tell...<br /><br />I'd love to be that fortunate kid who has grown up to be an even more fortunate adult, who is loving, who loves the world, who is loved by everyone...but the reality is increasing divorced from this ideal...<br /><br />Therefore, I better be self-reliant on most, if not all fronts...<br />Self-reliant on:<br />1. Decisions - I better be damn sure that regardless of advice i get from anyone, I consider the pros and cons and consequences myself because if my theory above is correct, no one except for that one person will stick by me...(and I have had to suffer before for making this mistake)...<br /><br />2. Time - I better not assume that I'll have somebody by my side all the time or anytime...It's easier to assume that I'll have to clear the shit myself and if by any chance, someone turns up, I'll feel much better...<br /><br />3. Love - I should learn to love myself more, for otherwise, I won't receive much more except from the few persons in good times and one person, during not so good times...<br /><br />What does the future hold?<br />I don't know...and scenario planning in this instance sucks because the possibilities are infinite...<br />Since this theory holds, I should reduce the number of things that I have long range planning catered for...<br /><br />So, what can I plan long range?<br />Good question...nothing???<br /><br />Sighz, I'm running around in circles...I need some extremely wise and objective advice...<br />This is similar to my last post about fate and destiny...i end up with no answers...<br /><br />Will I even continue to post blog entries in the short term (since I'm not planning long range)?<br />I don't even know that...maybe i will...but if I do so, it may just mean that I'm pulling myself back from the commitment that I'm afraid to be hurt by and switching to this lifeless technological machine which can suck in the thoughts that I type on my laptop...<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">CONfusing Post...<br />CONfused Thoughts...<br />by a CONsultant...<br />what a joke...<br /></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-81553224898256326842009-01-07T22:39:00.002+08:002009-01-07T23:00:49.930+08:00<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Wednesday...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Some people have it so easy in life...good things are served onto a platter for them, or at the snap of their fingers...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">So far, I have realized dat whatever good I have achieved, it has been so much hard work, so much more than some...of course, on the other hand, I'm lucky to have been bestowed certain strengths by my parents...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">However, how many trials and tribulations does one have to undergo? What is fate, or destiny?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Why do people say they submit entirely to fate or destiny? Have they been dealt with major blow(s) before? Have they witnessed other people who have been dealt that kind of force before? </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Or do they innately believe in it since young?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If fate or destiny refers to "something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot" as defined by dictionary.com, does it imply that fate arranges a series of pre-arranged milestones for everyone?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If so, who makes that arrangement? </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If no one made that arrangement, is it totally random then?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">If it is totally random, then it would be contradicting the definition since a random set of events cannot have been pre-arranged...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Let's set up a couple of hypotheses.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Hypothesis 1 (the traditional belief):</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Fate/Destiny is "something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot" and that this 'something' had been pre-arranged by someone. That is why everyone should submit to it since it is 'unavoidable' and 'pre-arranged'.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Hypothesis 2:</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Fate/Destiny is "something that unavoidably befalls a person; fortune; lot" BUT this 'something' is a random set of events. Triggers could include the direct and indirect actions of stakeholders involved in every particular event.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Well, I almost really wanted to go on and try to prove one of the hypothesis and attempt to debunk the myth but that was a foolish thought.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I'm here just to grumble and complain again.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">All my hard work to gain the strong competitive advantage could be eroded easily overnight and I have not much control. Does that sound unfair?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Does dat sound like a classical scene in dramas whereby a poor farmer has worked extremely hard for a season to harvest his crop but because of a freak act of nature, his crops were all destroyed by a fire the night before harvesting?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Sometimes, I find the battles in life meaningless. This is one such moment.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">All the talk about my fighting spirit. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">My close bro from school always tells me that I have the 'pa buay toh' spirit, that I seem to be able to stand up stronger than before no matter how I'm hit...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">People probably don't know that I've been hit many times worse before in life and so maybe, I appear to be stronger now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">But there's a limit to everyone's tolerance threshold, or the willingness-to-fight-on threshold.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I feel frustrated and it's making me tired, sapping away my fighting spirit.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">WTF. Forget it...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Someone many years my senior hit the nail on the head today when she advised me on something.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">She's so so right. I have been finding excuses, that's all.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The realization of that just makes me feel both disturbed and confused.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">So, what do I do now?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Aren't I supposed to be good at strategic positioning? Why the confusion now?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Crap...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day...if hope/fate/destiny can still be relied on...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#cc0000;">tHe Awakening...</span></strong></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-64397789445520431162008-12-20T00:10:00.002+08:002008-12-20T00:11:57.506+08:00Friday...<br /><br />So many grouses, so many complaints...<br />Just in a lousy mood...<br /><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#cc0000;">I've tried very hard...</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;color:#cc0000;">Some things are just beyond my control...</span></strong></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-36439784190656765702008-11-04T23:42:00.003+08:002008-11-04T23:46:02.599+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Tuesday...<br /><br />this is going to be a short post to allay any concerns/worries some of my friends may have...<br /><br />first of all, i'm surprised that there are still people reading my blog...i wonder how many of u out there still do but i've gotten 3 replies to my previous post...sorry to have made u all worried...<br />that was probably more of a burst of stress...i felt better that same night...<br /><br />second, the entire project has been completed smoothly...everyone's very happy (including myself), the clients and our team...cos we delivered better and beyond the scope of what was initially decided on...<br />and i have been told that my ratings are all good...so dat's very good news to me...hahaz... =)<br /><br />okie...more updates when i meet all my friends clique at a time...<br />thanks for ur concern!<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Fighting Fit...<br />Mentally, Physically and Skilfully... =)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-49835325569814834142008-10-26T16:02:00.002+08:002008-10-26T16:20:05.743+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />not feeling exactly in the best of moods right now...<br />probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed...woke up feeling even more tired than before sleeping...<br />maybe i just woke up too many times...maybe i just had too much on my mind...<br /><br />sianz...<br />that is the best word to describe how i feel now...ultra sianz...<br /><br />have not been posting any entries for awhile...well, the fact is dat i had a couple of entries but i did not publish them...i find that i've been blogging those couple of times onli when i was feeling down...<br />and it's the same for tis time too...sianz...<br /><br />i guess helping friends out reali does come back a full circle...<br />a friend reminded me awhile ago that i had told her tis before...that whenever she feels lost or have a feeling similar to that, just take a step back and look at the bigger picture...in that way, she'll be able to rediscover the right direction and path to step on...and will lose that lost feeling...<br />it was so easy for me to give that advice whenever that happened for her or someone else...it was almost always so obvious...do this, and you will get that...<br /><br />it's definitely not that easy for oneself though...it's easier said that done...<br />there's tis list of sorta comflicting and intertwined feelings that i have...i don't want to mention on a blog why that is the case but it's been killing lots of my enthusiasm and motivation...and dousing my fire...<br />i have been able to onli meet or exceed my own expectations a few times compared to maybe in the past...and that's partly cos i have had to drag myself past these intertwined obstructing feelings to be able to do dat...<br />maybe in the past, it was almost always natural, innate and easy...<br />whenever the fire burnt, i had that extra energy and ideas...<br />nowadays, the fire burns less frequently and has been less energetic...<br /><br />well, what comes next? i'm not sure...<br />I know I need to take a step back...but I'm still plagued with those intertwined feelings and they are really a major obstacle to anything i do...<br />somehow, i'm still surviving and doing well enough in some aspects of life that are important...but perhaps i feel unhappy cos even so, i feel that i'm not performing to my best...<br />and why am i not performing to my best? that's cos of the intertwined feelings and obstructions...<br /><br />okie...after a long story...let's cut it short...summary in 2 lines...<br />i've been feeling unhappy because i feel that i could have been doing better, and the reason why i'm not doing as well i think i am capable to is because of this complex and intertwined, obstructing feelings...<br /><br />there you go, the summary...<br /><br />now, many people of late have been telling me that i'm setting too high expectations which are inadvertently giving myself too much pressure...i guess i realize that too...<br />maybe i need to attend a course on expectation moderation...<br />competitiveness is healthy only when it breeds positive feelings...<br /><br />after saying so much, i've identified the feeling and the root causes...<br />how about the solution? <br /><br />i guess i know it too...take a step back, think about things, and moderate my expectations...<br />that should do the trick...<br /><br />how about the execution of the solution?<br />i guess i know what to do too...but there's so great resistance and inertia...brought about by the obstructions...<br /><br />by now, if anyone is reading this, i do sound a little confused, don't i?<br /><br />looks like i better take a break soon and seriously force myself to execute the solutions i've identified...<br /><br />thanks to anyone who has listened to my grouses and those who have given me advice...<br />appreciate it...but it's now time for me to do it myself...maybe with some encouragement...<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">identify the problem, recommend the solution...<br />solve the problem...<br />sometimes, it's reali easier said than done...<br /><br />how abt 'The tougher the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it?'<br />Jinfa, do u not have the ability to over this obstacle???<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-71303668475678710432008-07-26T12:18:00.002+08:002008-07-26T12:47:06.952+08:00<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Saturday...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">time flies, and it has since been more than a month since I last blogged even though I had wanted to during the period...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Well, I have so much to say...about work and about friends...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I have been working for slightly past a month already...and feel so privileged to be a mangement consultant...well, people who understand wouldn't need any explanation on why so...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Anyway, work has been challenging my adaptation prowess and intellect in some ways already even though it has been only a few weeks...I have had to find my way to build up the initial foundation for myself...with help from a few superiors of course...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Learning new frameworks and methodologies is no longer new to me as I am going through that ever so often...just the past two days, I was going through Marketing and Sales Strategy training...well, i do know some of it already but nevertheless, it was a good exercise...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I've had to help with proposals; that was challenging at the start because it tested more of my hands-on and operational skills rather than content knowledge at this stage...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">and time was always the most limited resource as we rushed against time to churn out that perfect looking proposal...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Well, I think i'll elaborate on work soon again but I may be going overseas soon, for my first project...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">more details at a slightly later date... =)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">What I want to talk more about is with regards to friends and Commencement!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I was just looking at the commencement photos and a couple of video clips a moment before I started blogging...and I was chuckling out loud!</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It was so funny, yet emotional in many other ways...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The happy expressions on our faces...the invisible sweat that we had gone through the last 4yrs to earn the right to be at the commencement ceremony in the graduation dress, the excitement and yet apprehension about the future...the 'cant bear to leave' feeling (for some of us, or maybe only myself), yet the 'want to explore the world in its entirety' feeling (again, for some of us or maybe only myself)...etc...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The complex intermix of emotions...I felt at the ceremony and now as I look back at the photos...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">You might say, well, that's Jinfa for you...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Yes, it might be true...I'm such a person...maybe I think too in-depth sometimes...or oftentimes...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">but it comes naturally...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Over the last 4yrs, all of us have taken different routes despite being in the same institution, same clique, same major...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Rewind two years...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I remember vividly speaking to a few friends about the input-output thingy...I'm not sure whether they still remember but let me recap...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Everyone comes into NUS as an individual entitiy (that's the input) part...wish I could draw a diagram but it's okie, try to visualize if you are reading this...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">We undergo the 4 years of education and out we go into the corporate world (this is the output part)...what happens in between is a black box...What happens in this black box depends on many factors...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">it can depend on:</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><u></u></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"><u>Internal Factors</u></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">1) Self-controlled steering in the direction we aspire to head to</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">2) Personal networking effort to find the right people to guide us to where we want to go to</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">3) Putting in the necessary effort to clear the path for ourselves</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">4) Planning ahead and working smart to get the obstacles out of the way as much as possible</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><u><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">External Factors</span></u><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">1) Presence of opportunities</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">2) Luck certainly plays a part as well</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">3) Timing</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">4) Being at the right place at the right time with the right skills to grab the opportunities</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">well, I can go on and on, but essentially, that's the gist of what I was speaking to friends about...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Fast forwarding to today, it is interesting to see how our black boxes have worked over the years...our individual well-oiled engines and how they have carried us to our destination today and evolving into new and enhanced black boxes which will carry us into the next few years ahead...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Every few years, it is almost certain that the black box will need to be replaced or upgraded before it can carry us for a longer period of time; over a longer distance, over more testing circumstances, etc...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I am so interested to see how our black boxes will work this time round...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I am seeing things...I am envisoning...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">10 years from today...Where will we be?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I am seeing that we will be holding senior management positions in engineering, in banks, in our own startups, in management consultancies, in govt sector, etc...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I remember that I used to always say this and let me repeat it...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">We are going to be the future leaders of tomorrow, of Singapore and of the world...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">This is the time...to start honing our skills, our knowledge, our networks, and tune our black boxes in a way it will carry us to our desired destinations and become leaders of tomorrow...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I feel so touched even as I think about the last few years and of the mental imagery of the future...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">C'mon, we will do this together! =)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#cc0000;">Strength and Motivation...</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;color:#cc0000;">Stewards of Today,</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;color:#cc0000;">Leaders of Tomorrow...</span></strong></div><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;color:#cc0000;"></span></strong> </div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-37259387771676726322008-06-15T21:58:00.002+08:002008-06-15T22:17:04.373+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />it's 10pm on Sunday night now...I wanted to blog earlier today but spent more than half the day working...<br />tomorrow's my first day of work officially...and i have mixed feelings...which is normal...<br /><br />Aniwaiz...let me continue talking about my EE friends...<br />bro, saw ur comment...glad we met at NUS... =)<br /><br />today I started thinking about the latest overseas trip...to Genting...<br />onli a few of us went...<br />to be honest, at dat time, i was still often fretting about my results...i had been fretting about it the last few months...and it was causing me to behave slightly irrationally sometimes...like getting irritable more easily...<br /><br />thinking back, it was so silly...i shld hav tried to enjoy the trip even more without thinking of it...<br />Although I enjoyed it a lot, it could have been much better...and it was my own fault...<br />anyhow, after the results were released, it felt like there was a huge amount of pent up frustration which was released together with the results...<br /><br />That trip was pretty good...first time overseas with some of them...but collectively, it was pretty fun...<br />i'm looking forward to future trips with them even after we start working!<br />we have been talking abt a plausible trip at the end of the year...to somewhere nearby like maybe krabi...<br />not sure whether dat's going to happen...but we'll try to make it happen amidst all our different and busy schedules...<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Continuing with my friends...<br /><br />Meijia...she's my girlfriend...for more than a year oredi...it was by pure chance and fate dat we first met at the pub at clarke quay during Christmas Eve 2005...She accompanied Elysia there (who was invited by Junhui)...and dat was the first time we ever saw each other even though both of us were from NUS EE...<br />subsequently, in the ensuing semester, we happened to be in the same lab together for a project (EE2007)...and had some opportunities to chat once in awhile about our projects...<br />The romance factor came in for the first time sometime during May 2006...two months I was due to depart for US for a year...anyhow, to cut a long story short...we got together in earli 2007 when I was still in Philly... =)<br />She's a very sweet ger who deserves my love and protection...and it will stay dat way... =)<br /><br />Jiarong...we got acquainted in year 1...earlier than Zhiwei and CS...he was known to me as Junhui's friend at dat time...and started sitting with us during some of the lectures...a quiet guy, he frequently gets teased by us...<br />but fortunately, he's very sporting and usually jabs back at whoever teases him or just laughs out loud tog...<br />glad that we have met too...he's one of the earlier ones in this NUS EE clique...one of the pioneers! <br /><br />CS...he came along with Zhiwei...cos they were always together initially...so when Zhiwei joined us, CS joined together...the most EE-inclined guy amongst us...he was always the person to turn to for technical questions regarding tutorials or assignments...another one of the crazy guys who did the EE2001 project with us...hahaz...<br />i still rem both of us working on the software and hardware parts...and cursing the circuits or algorithms ever so often...the down times...when the circuits suddenly don work...and the happy times...when everything started working well...<br />good to see him picking himself up again...<br /><br />Ting...was a very quiet ger when we first knew her...she came along with Meijia cos they have been close friends since JC although they were schoolmates in RV...in the past, it took forever prompting to get her to speak up even a few lines...but todae, she's so comfortable with us dat she doesn't mind joining the guys alone for ktv (although she was sort of lured there unknowingly, hahaz), join us for the genting trip, play badminton, mahjong, and so on...good to see dat our clique has more gers who feel comfortable with each other...hope it stays tis way...and esp if she can be paired up with any guy from our clique...hee (still quite a number of single guys in our clique...c'mon bros! wat r ur waiting for?)<br /><br />okie...it's getting a little late...i still hav to iron my clothes...hahaz...<br />so more on my friends again the next time...<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />it feels a little weird dat finally, tmr i'm going to start working full-time...the days of being a student r really over...<br />i've graduated and am really stepping into the world of the adult...the corporate world...<br /><br />i had been thinking abit...but decided todae dat i'm not going to think or overprepare...<br />cos it probably wun work...<br />i'll just be myself and face the corporate world...<br /><br />I'm just so so happy dat i've got so many close friends who r taking tis path with me...<br />my NUS EE clique...ur give me so much more courage! really! <br /><br />I'm reali looking forward to our regular gathering sessions! =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Hope everything at work will turn out great tmr! =)</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-32418612972135450232008-06-14T10:47:00.003+08:002008-06-14T11:18:20.024+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Saturday...<br /><br />it has been a week filled with emotions...mostly nostalgia...<br />I've been wanting to blog about it but tis has been a very busy week for me, doing some work for my company, meeting friends, playing golf, swimming, badminton, mahjong, and so on... =)<br /><br />well, the main focus of tis blog post is nus friends-centric...<br />I'm not exactly sure where to start, but I'll start somehow anyhow and zip back and forth through time whenever necessary...<br /><br />On Monday, I jioed Zhiwei and Junhui to go back to NUS with me...<br />Two years ago, we had once made a verbal pledge to return to NUS after we graduate to take a walk and look around the familiar premises, the various spots which r so integral parts of our fond memories in this institution...<br />Junhui and I arrived first...and while waiting for Zhiwei, we sat for about half an hour in LT7A...<br />ohh boy, did the memories ooze so fluidly from our minds...<br />we spoke about our first two years in NUS, where we spent a considerable amount of lecture time in this lt...we spoke about the past gossips...the exciting, juicy yet sometimes words dat were onli suitable for some ears... =p<br />It was nostalgia at its peak...actually, the whole dae was nostalgia at the peak...hahaz...<br /><br />When Zhiwei arrived, we walked to Olive Cove together...it's a small but cosy and comfortable Thai cafe within the heart of engineering faculty where the main memories were built in the final year of our studies...<br />The staff there treated us to iced mocha, which is wat we usually order when we r there...and we used to go there like thrice a week or sth, so ppl there know us well... =)<br />As I drank the iced mocha, looked around and chatted with two of my best friends in NUS, mixed feelings overwhelmed me...<br />I felt happy sitting down there with the right company, sipping coffee, enjoying the relaxed ambience which we have always craved for within the faculty (which explains y we always went there for lunch or proj meetings), recollecting memories of the place, of the past year in NUS (for me, it was even more meaningful as the final year meant alot of things-explained more later), recollecting memories of our entire NUS life...and knowing that we won't be returning to this small but beautiful cafe as regularly as we did...<br />We eventually took a photo with the lady boss and another staff whom we fondly speak of...and then we left to explore the rest of engineering...<br /><br />We walked past LT6...the benches...some of the benches where we slogged like mad doing our EE2001 in year 2...as a matter of fact, dat was my favorite semester of all 8...including those in US...<br />Year 2 Sem 2 was unbeatable...it qualifies as the best semester I've ever had in my NUS life...<br />The struggling together in that semester amongst 4 of us; Zhiwei, Junhui, Changsheng and I...as we handled normal EE student's workload and on top of dat, we stretched ourselves by doing the EE2001 project which onli year 3 students took...the struggling helped to bond us even closer...<br />it was dat semester when I became much closer to Zhiwei and Changsheng...it was as if we had taken a giant leap across a chasm which still existed to a certain extent even after we really got to know each other at the beginning of Year 2...<br />The tears, the sweat, the frowns, the grumbles, the laughter, the jokes, the corny things dat we did...<br />they will forever be deeply etched in my memory...<br />i dono, my language ability simply restricts how i can appropriately describe this feeling in words...i just can't...it's something very personal...no one perhaps, will be able to understand tis feeling other than the four of us...<br />Yes, it must be very personal... =)<br /><br />We then walked to the labs...where Zhiwei and I spent some of our time on our FYP...we chatted with the lab officer and one of the pHd students for quite a long time...<br />tis place has a place in my memory too but not quite fond ones...cos the FYP experience, to be honest, has been one which I perhaps would not want, if the option is reopened to me...because of the various difficulties experienced when i returned from US...<br /><br />After that, we spent some time sitting down in LT6 and LT7A again...walking into a dark and empty LT and switching on the lights felt very significant to us...<br />we were the onli ones in there...<br />in the past, during lectures...the whole places were always filled with hustle and bustle...with all the chattering going on...with the lecturer's voice...<br />when the few of us sat together...including others in wat i call my NUS EE clique...we were always making funny jokes and gossiping about ppl in the midst of lectures once we got tired and faded away from the lecture... =p<br /><br />I miss those daes...ALOT...and knowing wat a person I am, I will always think back of those times...<br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Ohh yah, let me define who I consider in the NUS EE clique...<br />it is hard to exactly define because some people have moved in while others hav moved out slightly...if there were inner to outer circles within tis clique, everyone will be like stars on an orbital path, moving to different orbits at different points in time...with some always at certain orbits...<br /><br />Zhiwei has always been in the innermost orbit...this guy is someone I onli started to really know in Year 2...actually that was the holidays in year 1...the june holidays...Junhui and I were talking abt the CSC thingy and we managed to pull Zhiwei in too...and ever since, there has been no turning back...our friendship soared to greater heights and I find myself looking up to him as a role model in many instances...<br />He was the one who changed how I dressed to school...and I consider it an important transformation because he taught and showed me the importance of respect to our lecturers...and today, I apply the same principle to whoever I meet and in the days to come, my business clients...<br />A very intelligent guy, he's someone whom I have always held in very high regard and I'm glad he has always been around providing friendly competition, motivation, giving me sound advice and oftentimes bringing my back safely to the ground if i ever became complacent or unapproachable...thanks bro!<br /><br />Junhui...hahaz...we have known each other for wat...14yrs! he has also been in the inner circle all the time...although there r certain times when we don't seem to have met as often, we always find no problem in talking, jabbing each other with silly jokes and so on...<br />A very intelligent guy too...he studies little but at the end of the dae, still manages to produce the necessary results...as he has justifiably proved by graduating with second upper honors...<br />actually, some of our team projects would have been much more boring without him...it has always been his corny jokes and sometimes out of the world actions dat make us laugh like mad...hahaz...<br />it's just so damn funny...and i'm glad he has always been around the last few years...an integral part of our clique...<br /><br />Shux...i'm running out of time...so I will have to continue in Parts 2, 3 and maybe more in the next blog posts...<br />Before I end off, the other people in our clique are:<br />Changsheng, Jiarong, Meijia, Tingting, Kaijie, Elysia, Victor...<br /><br />I will talk more about everyone else the next time! and other experiences! =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Thanks my dear bros and friends...<br />I couldn't have been where I am without ur support and company all tis while...<br />Cheers to forever friendship! And Success! =)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-76844530653625861502008-06-01T02:09:00.003+08:002008-06-01T02:16:43.766+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Saturday...<br /><br />Just returned home from a gathering with a few of my NUS friends, Zhiwei, Junhui, Victor, Kaijie and Dominic...it was an all guys night out...<br /><br />we spent a few hours at Brewerkz trying out a flavor of beer which most of us have not tried before called the Fruitwertz or something lydat...and then we took two cabs over to geylang to eat the famous beef hor fun...which is sth which I had never tried before oso...<br /><br />it was a very fun night out...full of crappy jokes, updating each other abt our respective grad trips, about wat we have been doing the last few weeks, sharing gossips, talking about our future plans, etc...<br /><br />Maybe it was the beer, but I personally think that it is because of the fact that we have moved to the next phase that has made me much more relaxed...<br />Basically, in our conversation, NUS is already history...<br />Sure, we talked about the fun times, the tough times and so on...but it is already history...<br /><br />Moving on, everyone of us has our own career and life plans...<br />I sure would like to see all of us doing very well in all aspects...<br /><br />I really enjoyed tonight tremendously...it has been a long time since i felt so relaxed and able to totally chill out...<br />Not sure if anyone else who reads this can understand the feeling...but it really feels like a huge stone has been released from my shoulders and I felt light...<br />It's not just during tonight's gathering but ever since this morning...I felt light, without a heavy burden on me...<br /><br />Moving forward, there r many more things to do...<br />More updates later...I'm feeling pretty sleepy...it's going to be 2.30am soon...<br />Goodnight! =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Great gathering guys! =)</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-65685607309991167382008-05-30T11:32:00.002+08:002008-05-30T11:43:18.524+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Friday...<br /><br />I just returned from Genting last night after a 3days trip with my NUS friends...on the way home, something came to my mind about a phrase I knew and recently heard from a friend I met...<br /><br />Choosing the right battles...<br /><br />Yah, I knew it all along but had forgotten about it...perhaps it's because I'm young...I feel that I can fight every single battle that comes along and win all of them...<br /><br />Well, I was wrong...I can't fight every single battle and win...<br />I could win many of those battles i choose to fight, but will I win the war? <br />Maybe not...and likely not...<br />Winning the battles but losing the war...dat's a huge consequence that is both unwise and foolish...<br />Yet I committed this mistake...this miscalculation...this over-confident yet foolish error...<br /><br />It is an important lesson to learn...<br />I managed to do quite well from my NOC experience...and should be one of the higher achievers in my batch...I have been strong academically too; always a candidate for first class honors...<br />Even though most of my NOC seniors and peers return to Singapore apparently weaker academically, I nevertheless wanted and felt I could get my first class honors...<br />And on top of that, I pursued many other commitments in the first 6 months I returned to Singapore, with mostly career boosting commitments and also a heavier academic workload than typical electrically engineering students...<br /><br />Well, not everyone can have the cake and eat it too...<br />I surely learnt the lesson the hard way...I had the cake...but wasn't able to finish it...<br /><br />Today, I have graduated only with a second upper honors degree...<br />Sure, I fell sick for a couple of months earlier this year which compromised my ability to pursue the first class honors...but was that really the cause?<br />I should think not...<br /><br />Ultimately, I have only myself to blame...<br />I was too greedy...I chose to fight every battle and expected to win the war too...<br />Even Zhuge Liang might not have tried that...cos he knew it would likely result in defeats all around...<br /><br />That's why I say that this is an important lesson to learn, not just for myself but for anyone who reads this...<br /><br />Nevertheless, like my gf told me just now, my mum would still be very proud of me...<br />I ought to be proud of myself and adjust my expectations...<br />cos if I don't, the perfectionist nature will kill me sooner or later...<br /><br />it's time to move on...<br /><br />more later...<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Goodbye NUS, thanks for everything...<br />I appreciate it... =)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-70150359799672273982008-05-22T10:59:00.002+08:002008-05-22T11:40:26.743+08:00<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Thursday...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Today is 22nd May 2008, and I'm back from Western Australia! =)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Wow, Shiqi...it's amazing...u still read my blog???</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I didn't think there would be anyone else reading my blog given that I rarely update it anymore...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Anyhow, I concur with your view that generally speaking, the rougher the path, the greater the rewards or yields. Well, that is consistent with investment principles, which has always been the case of higher risk, higher rewards. In life, it's often the case of no pain, no gain. They are all the same and I agree entirely. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">That is why I also agree that generally speaking, the tougher the obstacles, the more glory in overcoming them. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">It's been a long time since I used this phrase. Feels good repeating it now. =)</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The next thing you mentioned about was the the fact that success is really self-defined. Again, I agree. However, it is often easier said than done in reality because people tend to mind what others think to certain extents as well as the society's definition of success. Of course, there are people who claim that they do not mind all that. But how many really mean that when they say it?</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Life's many experiences, both ups and downs can create new personalities in people, can create new dreams, goals and aspirations and new perspectives towards life...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Sometimes, I really wish I can take a peek into other people's lives because that would allow me a more accurate yardstick of how much I have experienced relative to them. There are numerous other kinds of benchmarks and I do know where I stand compared to most people but there are the more intangible aspects of life such as crises...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">In this regard, I actually do feel that I have gone through a few crises in life already. Again, the keyword is relativity because it is easy to see that someone who has undergone greater crises will deem this as unworthy of mention. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Hope you have been fine Shiqi...let's meet up soon...I just met Isabelle the week before prior to my trip to Australia. We always mentioned you because we haven't seen you in a long time. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The trip to Western Australia was interesting. I'm using 'Western Australia' instead of Perth because we only spent 1.5 to 2 days in Perth itself and more time north and south of the capital of WA.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Anyhow, it was interesting partly because the day before the departure and during the first 2 days of the holiday, my mum and sis were stuck in Chengdu, China. Yes, the city approximately 60miles from the epicenter of the worst earthquake in a century to hit Sichuan. I was very worried about their safety as the aftershocks continued relentlessly. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">For them, it constitutes a part of their memory which they now call interesting and priceless largely because they were able to return to Singapore unscathed and safe. I was so glad when they finally touched down in Singapore safe and sound even though the earthquake struck merely 3-4hrs after they landed in Chengdu Airport. Also, they were supposed to have been up in the mountains at the time of the earthquake if not for the fact they there was a last minute arrangement to wait for another tour group to join them. This tour group was supposed to arrive later. They were eventually routed to Kunming because of the earthquake. However, thanks to them, the tour group my mum and sis were in did not depart for the mountainous region but rather, wait for them at the airport.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Anyhow, another important experience in life. We better cherish everything that we treasure and possess. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Back to Western Australia.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The pace there is excruciantingly slow and uncomfortable. The lifestyle is too laidback for my liking and comfort. Everyone knows about the infamous closing of most shops and businesses by 5pm but it felt worse when we were there than when we heard and tried to imagine it.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Everyday was very short because only a couple of activities could be completed before everyone packs up and goes home. I spoke to some natives there and it is interesting to know that some of them want a change in this regulation too.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">The cost of living is extremely high. Much higher than in Singapore and sometimes more expensive than in the US too. I have been thinking about the reasons.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">During the trip, I thought alot about the Australian economy too. Coupled with my own knowledge about the country's politics and economy as well as conversations with the locals, it confirmed my analysis that Australia is a hugely resource-driven economy. They are doing especially well in commodity boom times such as in the last few years, especially now.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Australia has huge reserves of resources such as iron ore, copper, titanium and much more. BHP Biliton is the world's largest mining company and it is Australian. China and many developing and developed countries which are resource hungry have been going places such as Africa, Brazil and Australia for resources. I won't go into detail about the economics of all these because it will lead to an extremely long paper. Anyhow, this has helped to prop up Australia's economy and the Australian dollar has been very strong too, helping to shield its people from inflationary pressures perhaps felt more strongly in the US. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I was just wondering again, if Australia did not have the kinds of natural resources as they do, can Western Australia afford to be so laidback? Probably not, unless they are willing to lose their economic standing in the world today. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Singapore, on the other hand, has no natural resources other than human beings and education. It has recently been ranked 2nd in the World Competitiveness Ranking by top European business schools and highlighted by Businessweek, trailing US by onli 0.7 points and is slated to become #1 next year.</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Again, very amazing when one looks at Singapore's size, lack of natural resource, geographic region where almost every other country in SEA is a developing one and with many facing political problems. Also, Singapore's relative short period of independence further lends credence to the capabilities of its government and citizens. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">I feel very proud to be a Singaporean. </span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;">Alright, that will be all for today. I prefer to discuss and analyze verbally and graphically rather than typing it out all alone. Hahaz...</span><br /><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;"></span><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-family:Times New Roman;color:#cc0000;">I'm proud to be a Singaporean... =)</span></strong></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-78136750954706027602008-05-08T22:03:00.002+08:002008-05-08T22:36:07.169+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Thursday...<br /><br />It is 8th May 2008 today.<br />I'm filled with all sorts of thoughts...some of which are accumulated from months or even years ago; some of which are more recent ones...<br /><br />I have thought of writing a short summary of my life over the last 25 years, with a focus on the last 4yrs, which have actually seen greater changes in myself...<br />For now, I will make do with making this post; which I feel is necessary...<br /><br />I bumped into an old friend today. My primary school friend.<br />We have known each other since p1, when we were 7. That is about 18yrs ago. Amazing huh, am I that old already?<br />He was an intelligent boy. I can't remember for sure whether we were in the same class for 6yrs, but he was definitely in the same class as me in p5 and p6, which was the EM1 class. He was a pretty close friend of mine. We hung out together to play soccer before and after classes as well as tuition at Mr Gan's class (which was ultra great fun btw). The only unfortunate thing was that he once had a bout of fever when he was younger which caused some damage to this hands. Nevertheless, he was fortunate enough to have survived that.<br /><br />Today, on the way home, I saw him walking in front of him. We stay quite close to each other but since primary school, we have not been in contact since as we went to different secondary schools.<br />I did not approach him just now although I felt like because I wasn't sure what we could have talked about. Well, that was lousy, wasn't it? And to think that I take pride in being able to network and speak with strangers eloquently.<br /><br />I hope he has been fine. I miss the days when we were so carefree back in primary school, playing soccer all day long, laughing at each other and others, watching cartoons together, playing games, attending school.<br />I met up with another two primary classmates just about a month ago. One is in NUS now while the other will be receiving his PhD in Engineering next year from Imperial College, UK.<br />All achievers.<br /><br />When we were kids, we wanted to grow up. Parents and adults laughed at us, telling us that we would not say that once we were grown up. I did not really buy that advice.<br />Now, I believe it entirely.<br /><br />Life is so filled with challenges at the adult level, from studies to health to being sociable enough to career and to family, amongst many other widely-recognized achievements in life.<br />The path I have trodden on so far has not been a bed of roses.<br />As a matter of fact, it has been extremely rough at times.<br />Few people know it. At this age, few people would have the chance of stepping on such a path. I dealt with it. I picked myself up when I fell down. I overcame all odds. I have scaled greater heights repeatedly. I am finally closer to being able to realize my innate potential, which I have always believed to be high. I have been able to stretch myself further by extending my personal limits.<br /><br />But it has not been easy doing all these. It has not.<br />It comes with a price. And what is the price?<br />Well, I fell sick. It was a warning sign that it was time to slow down a little and allow my body and health to recuperate. Having been very fit all my life, health and fitness had never been concerns. Now, it has started to be so after the warning lights flashed. I have started to pay more attention to this and make sure that I get sufficient rest.<br /><br />Mental as well as physical challenges have been aplenty. Having loaded myself with responsibilities that are heavier than what one ought to carry, I felt very tired, yah, both mentally and physically. This mainly stretched for close to 2yrs. It has probably improved slightly recently.<br /><br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Arriving at the question I have been thinking alot about of late...<br />What do I want in life? What do I consider as success?<br /><br />It is so difficult to answer the question. I'm sure many people agree.<br />Across hundreds to thousands of centuries, human beings probably have struggled with this question endlessly. I have seen some seniors who are greater achievers than myself stepping back and asking themselves the same question. They felt empty and were not the happiest people even though they had achieved in their careers what few others could have done in the same duration. They were the envy of strangers and pride of parents. But they were not happy enough. They felt tired too.<br />What's wrong?<br />This is something which I have started to feel, at an even earlier age than some of them. Maybe that is because of the tougher path I have had to walk all these years. Maybe I have matured earlier than most other people my age or even those slightly older than me. Maybe I am experiencing everything in life earlier than others because of my more matured and tested mentality.<br /><br />Increasingly, I feel I cannot connect with some friends. Sometimes, what they say or feel are what I had felt quite some time back. I wish to participate and empathize, but sometimes, it feels tough because it doesn't feel that relevant to me anymore.<br /><br />Many friends come to me for advice with regards to various areas of life. I appreciate that and see it as a form of honor. I have helped many of my friends by giving them sincere advice. It makes me happy when I see the look or sound of 'oh, why didn't I think of that' on my friends' faces or voices after I dispense with the advice. This is especially so when they see improvements as a result of my advice. I feel happy when I am able to help others.<br /><br />So is this what makes me happy?<br />Helping others.<br />Maybe.<br /><br />Again, this is an over-generalization. I can be helping others at countless situations. It is hard to specify.<br /><br />I am going to Perth next week with my girlfriend.<br />I hope I will feel more enlightened, relaxed, rested, more grateful and well after this trip.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">For Health and Glory!</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-58154278743617120902008-03-02T17:30:00.002+08:002008-03-02T17:39:23.035+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />recent events have given me a stern wake up call to reappraise my life goals and priorities...<br /><br />in recent years, i have grown to become obsessed with success in every single tangible aspect of life.<br />I wanted to be the best in everything; academic results, overseas achievements, extracurricular activities, breadth and depth in business exposure, sports, girlfriend, etc...<br /><br />I wanted to be the best of everything and have the best of everything...<br />In some of this aspects, I have achieved my objectives. In fact, in most of these aspects, in relative terms as compared to my college year, I have triumphed most people.<br /><br />But it came as a compromise to my exercise regime, my keep-fit goals. I used to work out very regularly but not quite so in the last few years, especially in the last 2 years. 'Busy with work' was always my reason, or rather, excuse. It was the truth though. I seemed to have neverending work. And it was almost always because of my own preference. I preferred to be busy. I wanted to squeeze as many activities and plans into a second as possible. It was tiring sometimes.<br /><br />Now, that happened probably because of the direct opposite kind of lifestyle i led in my teenage and pre-teenage years. I have been near both the ends of the spectrum.<br /><br />It's time to balance everything again; to do things in the principle of moderation.<br /><br />Health, family, career, friends.<br />They are all important. I will spread my focus and energy more evenly now.<br /><br />Have a good week ahead!<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I have learnt...</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-47234672154469850662008-01-07T00:25:00.000+08:002008-01-07T00:39:06.374+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />Just wanna try to publish a quick post before sleeping...<br /><br />I have had so much fun, happiness and excitement the last two days. It all centered round the group of NOC NCBV mentors who had come to Singapore for a short business cum travel trip.<br /><br />Prof Jan, Prof Babin, Joe Sun, Megan and Eric.<br /><br />I will post pictures later. It has been so wonderful.<br /><br />They have been great benefactors of us and to myself personally. Again, I find it immensely hard to express how I feel about them and the entire NOC NCBV experience in just a single blog post. It is perhaps something hard to imagine and comprehend unless one goes through it.<br /><br />A few of us brought them around town today. We went to Little India, Bugis Junction, Waterloo Street, Chinatown, One Fullerton and finally, The Esplanade.<br /><br />More details and photographs later.<br /><br />I couldn't bear to let them leave for their hotel eventually (they are flying back to Philadelphia tomorrow). I gave Prof Jan, Megan and Joe Sun (who were the only ones left at 10+pm) tight hugs each. They said very kind words and I guess I will continue to miss them lots. I wonder if they had been 'Singaporeanized' or I had been 'Americanized' or perhaps a little of both and other factors; I felt very comfortable and close with them back in Philadelphia and now in Singapore. It is as if we have known each other for an even longer time.<br /><br />I guess that I have to make it a point to keep in touch with all of them as one of my 2008 resolutions.<br />I'll gladly do so. =)<br /><br />I was very happy interacting with all the NOC NCBV alumni who turned up yesterday and today. With my batch and my junior batch NCBV people, it felt even more intimate. It was in fact, very 'close'. We used to have our long chats, drinks, parties, gatherings, chill-outs, etc. at our houses in Philly or at some food joint/bar. Now, we have been having it in Singapore the last 2 days. The feeling was incredible, to say the least.<br />Even though we have not see none another for a few months, it felt almost exactly the same as before! We still hav a lot to talk to each other about; we didn't feel any stranger with each other at all. In fact, many of us felt even closer than before.<br /><br />Wow, I'm so perked up and ZAPPED again. The energy, the enthusiasm, the potential, the ever-higher achievements and the rare calibre of such an outstanding group of people put together just makes me feel really really good all over again.<br /><br />They have given me a new boost of energy; the kind I always felt when I was back in the US.<br /><br />Thank you everyone. I will continue with the NCBV spirit.<br /><br />I will remember all the kind, encouraging and sensible advice of everyone.<br /><br />Thank you.<br /><br />I will describe more in detail later. For now, I hope they will have safe flight back to Philly and I will look forward to my Vietnam trip this coming week with my bao bei, which I expect to be great too. =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I miss my US experiences,<br />I miss Philly,<br />I miss PENN, I miss Wharton,<br />I miss Ludlow Angels,<br />I miss PayQuik,<br />I miss Bus 44, I miss the american airlines,<br />It's amazing, phenomenal, surreal.<br />It's the greatest thing that ever was conceived for the lucky few in NUS.<br />Thank you from the bottom of my heart.<br />I will carry this spirit and achieve wonders in Singapore and in the world!<br />Trust me, I will exceed all expectations again and all the time! =)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-82984521649082247902008-01-01T20:41:00.000+08:002008-01-01T20:45:18.382+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Tuesday...<br /><br />Happy New Year everyone!<br /><br />3 questions I should have answered earlier:<br /></span><div>How much have I accomplished?</div> What have Idone well?<br />What could have been done better?<br /><br />I eagerly look forward to 2008 and the ensuing 365 days, including today.<br />My fire has been constantly stoked by internal and external motivating drivers and I am like an ignited space rocket which can't wait to fly with all the energy within me.<br /><br />I will answer the 3 questions later and reflect on certain other things in a later post.<br /><br />Happy 2008!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">New Year,<br />New Hopes,<br />New Ambitions,<br />New Goals<br /></span></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-7863546966527576992007-12-27T00:38:00.000+08:002007-12-27T01:16:11.072+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Wednesday...<br /><br />Merry Christmas everyone!<br /><br />You have no idea how many times I had previously contemplated blogging; even logging in to blogspot, coming to this exact window before I logged out without leaving even a word.<br />I came close to blogging about a fortnight ago. I typed a couple of sentences and stopped.<br /><br />There has been a rather wide disconnect between my last blog post and now. So much has gone through my mind. More experiences, more lessons, more knowledge, more of what I would consider value-adding stuff.<br /><br />I aim not to fill in this gap and bridge the disconnect entirely but rather, provide a brief summary of whatever I can think of at this early hour of the morning.<br /><br />---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />The last few months after I had returned from US was not the best of months I have had in NUS. It was pretty tough.<br /><br />Why tough?<br /><br />It was tough because while I had all the respect in the world for engineers and the engineering profession, I had not much of interest left in being an engineer or engineering student anymore. Rather, to put it more fairly and in a clearer perspective, I had not much interest to be at student anymore. I didn't and I still don't really see the need to although it is important (i certainly agree) to finish up responsibly what one has started.<br /><br />It was tough because my mind had always been somewhere else; in entrepreneurship opportunities, in business ideas, in business-related thoughts and actions. I recall during one of my engineering lectures that I suddenly thought of a business idea (which till today I think is worth exploring especially after having run it through some ppl) 30mins into the 2hr lecture. As you may oredi have guessed, I got real excited, almost jumping up and down and continuously fidgeting in my seat for the rest of the 1.5hrs. Apparently, I wasn't paying attention to the lecture at all.<br /><br />It was oso tough because I was way behind my peers from the perspective of engineering education as an undergraduate. Note: only in this regard. While I spent the entire year 3 in US exploring and learning about entrepreneurship at a pace of 300% of what I would have done in my usual fast paced schedule in Singapore, I was fast forgetting my engineering knowledge. While this was recoverable, it took time. And it did take awhile for me to get some of it back this semester.<br />In comparison, my peers had been accelerating in the engineering studies aspect in year 3. Guided by this huge disparity (solely in this regard), I took 5 technical modules + FYP. The most common workload in year 4 sem 1 was 3 modules + FYP. I was playing with fire? Probably. It made my life tough, especially when combined with the other two factors above.<br />----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />I could grumble further. Hahaz, friends who know me know that I can.<br /><br />To my own credit, I have achieved quite a bit since my return. Some friends might know. I have also blogged about some of them in the last few months. So I won't go through this part.<br /><br />I have gained a lot of new knowledge. Talk to me about how I expect the global economy to react to a possible US economy slowdown or recession and I will have my analysis for you. Talk to me about the consequences of higher oil prices for the exporters and importers and the other indirect repercussions on economies, on developed nations, on developing countries, on individuals. The list of topics can go on endlessly. Trading, investing, monetary policies, the intricate links between all these chains.<br /><br />I have been a little surprised at the pretty fast rate of learning. I guess this has been attributed to my interest in generally the business area. The converse has also been true of my slow learning speed in my engineering modules this semester. =p<br /><br />I got my results this afternoon. Theoretically speaking, I think I'm still on course for a 1st class honors though it will be marginal and chances are comparably remote with perhaps a global recession due to the low probability of US's possible recession adversely sinking other markets worldwide. Given all that I had done the last few months, I think i deserve a pat on my back and that the results were much better than I had anticipated although slightly lacklustre compared to my first years in NUS.<br /><br />Then again, as I was speaking to my mum just now, one gains some and loses others.<br />I am glad that I have gained a lot in the areas of interest and my own strengths over the last 1.5yrs.<br /><br />It made me realize that I am definitely more suited to be a business major and that I will almost certainly do much better there than I even am now in engineering.<br />Nevertheless, I still stand by my belief that it is highly beneficial that I have an undergraduate degree (a good one at that) in engineering and in future, highly possible that I will get a MBA from one of the top business colleges in the world (Wharton would be my dream college along with HBS and University of Chicago Business School).<br /><br />I will be more aggressive in the months ahead in terms of my pursuit of my passion, interests and knowledge acquisition.<br /><br />I will also be more aggressive in my (secret) area of focus.<br /><br />I will allocate more time for exercise and leisure to fully recharge myself before allowing myself the maximum opportunity to unleash my power in the corporate world.<br /><br />I am raring to go, extremely driven and wanting to prove myself further.<br /><br />Confidence, motivation, self-awareness and my drive are again back to extremely high levels.<br /><br />Let's rest and fully rejuvenate during this festive season. I need the rest to regain my eagle-eyed focus to its full level.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Merry Christmas<br />&<br />A Happy New Year! =)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-9910904802362078762007-11-18T17:09:00.001+08:002007-11-18T17:15:49.919+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />today seemed to be worse, if anyone asks me...<br />It just feels so.<br /><br />I'm alone at bk now, my usual haunt for studying during the exams period. When I was in US, i used to miss studying here during exams...i missed it alot...in fact, i often told my friends abt the memories of me studying here...<br /><br />now dat i'm back here...i'm not feeling dat happy instead...but anyhow, it's not due to the fact of this venue....the venue has no bearing on whether im' happy or not....<br />at the very least, this venue does not...<br /><br />I guess some things will never be the same again and as much as I realize and understand so, I am still trying to convince myself...Looking forward ought to be the way; I know that.<br /><br />Damn. I can't believe I'm blogging and complaining abt tis crap at this time. But I've really not been very happy, especially these 2 days.<br /><br />How will things turn out? I don't know. Why are certain things happening the way they are?<br />I need a break. Cut me some slack please. I don't know from where, I don't know how.<br />I just want a break.<br /><br />When will it come? In what form? From who? From where?<br /><br />I think, and I actually believe that I am the only person who can help myself now.<br /><br />Forced to the corner, I usually retaliate in an even stronger manner. Can i do so at this juncture?<br /><br />Let's see...<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">ArgghhHHHH!</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-80170733687176985722007-11-18T00:42:00.000+08:002007-11-18T10:03:09.506+08:00<span style="font-family:times new roman;">Saturday...<br /><br />Again, I'm here...seeking an avenue to complain and sort of venting my frustrations in an informal way...<br />I'm tired of studying what I am studying...Or rather, to clarify, I'm not regretting having chosen wat I'm studying now many years ago after graduating from JC....<br />but rather, I think I'm way ahead of most of the other, if not the vast majority of the other undergraduates in their final years in terms of mindset, expectations, experiences and the like...<br /><br />Who can really understand how I think nowadays?<br />Who understands my concerns? My frustrations? My complaints? My thoughts? My memories?<br />Those who have trodden on a similar path as I have or who are even ahead of me (definitely I'm not the best) will perhaps understand how I feel...<br /><br />School life is certainly not too suitable for me anymore...I can't get a strong sense of satisfaction from what I'm doing everydae....<br />And I MUST complain about something here....which I CANNOT stand in Singapore...<br />The conservative and narrow-minded way of thinking of many Asians and Singaporeans MUST change...<br />And people who have studied or worked in US must certainly agree with me on this...<br />To date, everytime I mention that I am a student in Singapore at networking events, I will not be taken seriously...<br />In US, it was different. Of course, not every American listened. But many do listen to me.<br />In Singapore, I lose all credibility the moment people realize that I am a student.<br />This must change. I will seek the change. I will influence the change. It's for the betterment of Singapore's society. Having an overly conservative mindset such as this will only stifle creativity amongst the bright minds of many students, undergraduates and the like.<br />It will do no good for Singapore's entrepreneurship push. It discourages students to want to share. It demotivates them. It lowers their self-belief.<br /><br />Look at Mark Zuckerberg. At 23 today, CEO of FaceBook, valued at US$15billion. Michael Dell, dropout at college, co-founder and CEO of Dell, second largest PC company in the world. Many others.<br />Singapore? Who? Hello?<br />I applaud the local push for entrepreneurship, but I'm sorry, let's wake up to face reality. We are light years behind US. We have many things to learn, to implement, to execute. It will take perhaps even generations for the right mindset to re-evolve. The courage to explore, to try and fail and be encouraged, to startup, to challenge traditional ways of thinking, to challenge norms, to believe that age and experiences are not best benchmarks to measure one's potential and so on.<br /><br />As a start, students could and should be given more credibility. As an investor, entrepreneur or just an educated person at networking events or the like, one should undertake the responsibility to evaluate whether a student's thoughts should be worth believing. I'm not saying that every students should be believed but rather, to take the proactive step of listening first and not brush us off so hastily.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Can I influence the change in Singapore? Can I make a difference?<br />I don't know and I don't care. I will do it and I already do it through my actions and speech everyday to people. I hope I will be given the opportunity to do this on a larger scale, to make my thoughts heard, to let it resonate amongst wise and sensible leaders of Singapore.<br /><br />Alright, that is my grouse.<br />I'm also tired of studying what I'm studying. I'm cut out for business, not engineering, period.<br />While I have been able to obtain pretty good grades in my first 2 years prior to NOC, I guess that is just my academic ability at work. NOC allowed me to realize my REAL strengths. And it has made me realize that engineering is great and noble but just something that I should leave to those who are much more talented than me in this field.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong. I respect engineers A LOT. Without them, technological advances will not be possible. I just believe that I can make a greater and better difference to society and our world by being the bridge between engineers and commercialization.<br /><br />Once I get the chance, I will do all that I can do realize my vision.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />There has been more sensational happenings for me the past week.<br /><br />A professor contacted me requesting me to be featured in the Undergraduate brochure for the year 2008. I agreed of course. It is my pleasure and honor to do so.<br /><br />I was interviewed briefly by the Straits Times earlier this week and featured on Wednesday.<br /><br />Yesterday, I had the greatest privilege to meet up with the Head of Clean Energy from EDB and his team. Wonderful people! The news that we see and hear everyday about clean energy all came from them.<br />He's a very nice guy. Friendly, humorous, no airs at all, intelligent and doing great for Singapore. His team comprises very nice people too. But I felt bad that they had to stay till 7+pm just so that we could all interact.<br />The sharing of thoughts between like-minded people really made my day.<br /><br />It was certainly my honor and pleasure meeting them again.<br /><br />So, a few great happenings for me again this past week. Sensational.<br />There's sth else which I do not want to disclose here.<br /><br />Anyhow, I am not allowing anything to make me arrogant or complacent. That is the first step to failure for any aspiring entrepreneur or person seeking success in life.<br />I am just genuinely grateful that I have been given all these opportunities.<br /><br />I will return to society, to our community by contributing to Singapore in great ways in time to come.<br />Despite my earlier grouse, I meant no harm. I only mean well and it is indeed necessary for our nation to be able to progress in the many years to come.<br /><br />So now, anyone feels that he or she really understands how I feel?<br />I jumped on the space shuttle that brought me ahead of where I should be presently. I will bring anyone who is interested on board.<br /><br />Singapore requires us, its human capital, its assets.<br /><br />For now, it's almost time for bed for me.<br />I am feeling better. Guess why?<br /><br />No, it's not really cos of this blog post. It was due to the Stephen Chow movie I watched on channel 8 just now. Silly me?<br />No, it was just memories from young as I laughed while watching it.<br />I laughed again. =p<br /><br />Goodnight all.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">The tougher the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.<br />A long way to success, but I will persevere!<br />=)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family:times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-42229456923589743212007-11-07T23:57:00.000+08:002007-11-08T00:23:21.302+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Wednesday...<br /><br />Hello??? Anyone out there? Any human being still reading my blog?<br />It's been almost a month since I last blogged. I thought it was much longer.<br /><br />Anyhow, I'm not in a good mood. I guess that's one of the reasons why I'm blogging now. It's the old, nice, familiar feeling of being able to 'confide' via this blogging avenue which is one of the most reliable avenues (it only fails when the server is down, which doesn't happen often). I just finished some work, I felt like talking to her but she said she was heading to bed. Before I could say that I wanted to talk, she said she needed to wake up early to go have breakfast downstairs. I stopped short of typing out 'Can we talk?'.<br />Sighz, and that is why I'm here now. But it's not her fault. I am just grumbling because I feel like hearing a human voice now, the voice of someone who can soothe my nerves.<br /><br />My mum is already in bed. So is my sis who might not have been the best option for this purpose anyway. My dad is reading his news and we don't usually talk about such stuff. I don't want to disturb any friend at tis time.<br /><br />So, I am here.<br /><br />I just realized that I have spent such a huge chunk of words just to say why I'm here. Crap.<br /><br />So what has been going on? Since the last update on the exclusive IBTEC competition and the reason why I had to give it up, many other things have happened. A LOT.<br />Let's go to the exciting stuff first. The stuff that makes me grin.<br /><br />I was awarded the NUS Student Achievement Award for the Enterprise Category. This was by nomination only.<br /><br />I represented the Faculty of Engineering and NOC to join a lunch networking session with the NUS Board of Trustees, the top management of whom many are very successful.<br /><br />Not sure if I mentioned this, but MOE asked me down to Ngee Ann Sec to give a speech on entrepreneurship and NE; I did eventually and it was a pretty interesting experience.<br /><br />My professor nominated me for an opportunity to be interviewed by EDB to feature in one of its advertisements or interview specials as part of its publicity efforts to launch some scholarship which I won't reveal here. Only 1 or 2 students were required and I thank my prof for remembering me and assisting me in my career path.<br /><br />I went for various rounds of job interviews already. Done pretty well. So far so good. Am keeping my options open. I have formed several informal groups to explore the opportunity to startup a company in the clean energy industry too. It has always been my wish to do so and this was a concrete step in picking the brains of many of those who are interested and increasing the chances of forming a great team.<br /><br />-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------<br /><br />Seems pretty rosy, doesn't it?<br />Yah, certainly, and I was personally even amazed by all the achievements. It was not just my hard work over the past year but also the recognition given by many of my mentors.<br /><br />George Sprenkle, my former CFO, friend and fatherly figure back in Philadelphia.<br />Professor Jan, my consulting professor and fatherly figure back in UPenn.<br />Gean, my former program director in NCBV and my good friend.<br />Prof Liew, my current FYP supervisor who encourages me all the time.<br /><br />My mum said that they are my 'gui4 ren2'. I totally agree. Without the opportunities given by them, I would be a lesser person today in terms of my achievements and potential achievements.<br /><br />I was glancing through the business plan that won awards for me this year. It looked impressive. It didn't seem that way when I was working on it. Perhaps I was looking at it everyday and way too often. But now it looks real impressive.<br /><br />But that isn't the point I'm trying to make here. The point is; I felt very touched when I glanced through it. What I saw were not the words but were the memories.<br />I recall the arguments we had, the celebrations, the hugs, the cheers when we got through each round, the perplex moments (many of them), the frowns, the smiles, the grins, the ecstatic shouts, the endless nights I was working at 3am on the business plan after having worked in the office the full day and an evening lesson at Wharton, etc etc etc.<br /><br />I am still feeling very touched. The most unique phase of my life just flashed through my mind.<br />I miss it sometimes, and I certainly do miss it now.<br />I was busy like crazy but I was happy being that busy because I loved what I was doing.<br /><br />I can't say the same these days. I wanna get out of school. I want to be doing what I am best at;<br />Business Strategizing and Development.<br />Devising best strategies, executing them, achieving best results.<br />Developing new markets, penetrate viable ones, become the best in the world.<br /><br />I love school but I do not exactly love what I am doing now. I have to and I will complete it nevertheless.<br /><br />Before NOC, I wanted my First Class Honors. I was and am still on track to get it.<br />But it no longer is important to me now because I have much more than the benefits it can give me. Was it for the pride? Or did I used to really think that it is important? I guess it's more of the former.<br />I find it hard to get the motivation back to achieve this goal which I believe is not necessary anymore.<br /><br />I am grumbling a lot, aren't I?<br /><br />I still want to contribute to Singapore's economy in a great way, I want to be a great leader, I want to make this world a better place for everyone. I will do it and I will get there.<br /><br />Trust me.<br />I can and will do it.<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Feeling much better now...<br />=)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-74998623675978090022007-10-13T08:43:00.000+08:002007-10-13T09:17:53.724+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;" >Saturday...<br /><br />I had to make a BIG decision yesterday and today.<br />It wasn't easy. I had made a decision earlier already. It's regarding the Intel-Berkeley Technology Entrepreneurship Challenge that I was invited to.<br /><br />Well, IBTEC is by invitation only and so there is a certain level of prestige.<br />Berkeley is also paying for the airfare and hotel accommodation. So I'll be treated like a VIP.<br /><br />I still feel confused even as I type now. I want to go, I really do. I turned it down initially because I simply have too many commitments. And I really feel 'squashed' to a certain extent.<br />In my final year, after missing out an entire year on engineering, I'm now taking 5 technical electives (gross) and doing my FYP at the same time. All highly technical, all pure engineering.<br />How about my engineering peers? Those that are not NOC grads?<br />typically, they are taking 2 to 3 graded modules and FYP. So on average, I'm taking 2 to 3 modules more than them and on top of that, I am 1 year behind almost everyone in engineering terms.<br /><br />And to top it off, I have no motivation at all. I mean, the motivation is extremely strong to want to succeed. Don't get me wrong, that is stronger than ever. But, I feel like getting out into the workforce now already. I am more than ready for it. I am more ready for it than many people who are already working.<br /><br />I'm not arrogant. I just feel that my competence has exceeded my original expectations of myself.<br />I feel trapped in the body of a student when I should be out there, achieving more.<br /><br />Alright, back to the original story first.<br />NUS Venture Support called me yesterday morning and the nice guy over the fone tried to persuade me to go. He said that it's an extremely good opportunity. I agreed.<br />But I have to be responsible to my project teammates. And there are many of them because I have a lot of projects.<br />The fone call made me feel very confused and troubled. I went to school and looked for my professor and talked to him.<br /><br />Oftentimes, I feel we are very similar. We are extremely competitive, confident and think we can achieve whatever we want as long as we want to.<br />He felt that I should go. I was encouraged and I smiled.<br />I guess that was what I was hoping to hear because I really wanted to go and his opinion gave me an affirming nod.<br /><br />This morning, I changed my mind again.<br />The entire issue had been weighing on my mind all day yesterday and tis morning.<br />It affected my test performance yesterday.<br />It made my ger unhappy. My mum doesn't tink i should go given all the other commitments.<br /><br />I am very confused but I have decided i'm not going.<br /><br />Haiz....<br /><br />Life is tough huh. When there are no opportunities, one sighs.<br />When there are TOO many opportunities, I sigh too.<br /><br />I shall not let my day be affected by this decision anymore. Whatever happens, I will have no regrets because I have thought about it very carefully already.<br />There are sooooo many opportunities in this world. I have had several come my way. I can't grab all of them though. It is simple math.<br /><br />Alright, with what I have right now, I will chiong forward again.<br /><br />I feel overwhelmingly strong. I will overcome anything in my way. That has always been the way and I will ensure that it stays this way.<br /><br />Jiayou Jinfa... =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center; font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I Can do anything...<br />And...<br />I will do whatever it takes...<br />(",)<br /></span></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-59696676885382434272007-10-07T16:26:00.000+08:002007-10-07T16:39:25.617+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday (My Birthday!)<br /><br />I was surprised there are still friends reading my blog...i thought no one would still be checking out my blog anymore...cos even the frequency at which I access my own blog is pretty low...<br />thanks icy and olive...<br /><br />i've resolved most of the mini crises from this week oredi....except for the huge pile of work waiting to be completed and my laptop, which has crashed to such an extent that Windows can't even start already...<br />i'll prolly hav to bring it down to NUS for a check tmr although i reali hate lugging it arnd....and if the servicing costs and replacement costs are too high, i might as well get a new laptop...<br /><br />Hmm...i was telling those frens who were concerned abt me dat on Friday and Saturday, things looked much better le....<br />lemme elaborate a little...and btw, i feel like bloggin now cos i was reading my engin notes and felt so so bored...<br /><br />The issue with my booking of ippt has been resolved, not by the help of any of the ns clerks but by sheer luck, i was able to book some slots on Sat, yest and I cleared my ippt successfully....<br />the clerks were incapable with assisting me at all...and reali puts me off big time...i wonder why they are there for in the first place...if it is just to provide information instead of solving problems (dat was a minor issue dat i needed help with but they couldn't fix it)...den it is very poor customer service...or rather, prolly the processes within such a big governmental institution are too rigid...<br /><br />anyhow, dat issue has been resolved and i do not want to talk abt it anymore...<br /><br />I received a call from MOE on thursday, inviting me to give a speech at one of the secondary schools in a fortnight's time....<br />after getting more information from the lady on the phone and further info through email, i agreed to go ahead with it....i tink it's a good opportunity to make new friends and know more people and of cos, to inspire the younger generation if i can....<br />and i hope i can....i'll most likely be talking abt entrepreneurship in general...<br /><br />on friday, i received an email from NUS telling me dat i've been selected to be a recipient of this year's NUS student achievement award in the Enterprise category...<br />whoa...i was pleasantly surprised and of course, exceedingly pleased!<br /><br />yah...so the week ended quite well too...<br /><br />but today, which is supposed to be my birthdae...i ended up having to stay home to study...<br />and although i stayed home, i had no motivation to study at all...progress slowed to a snail's pace..<br />sianz...<br />she isn't here either...<br />but at least we r meeting later...for a simple dinner, but it doesn't matter...i don need a grand dinner....<br /><br />extremely busy now again....i was hoping dat life back in singapore in my final year could be much more relaxed than when i was in US, but i guess it's not the environment dat determines how busy one is as much as the individual's attitude towards commitments..<br />once again, i sorta am having too many commitments again...<br /><br />let's see how things turn out....as much as i'd like to fly back to US for the competition, I reali am not sure whether i can commit or not...<br />a wonderful opportunity at my doorstep...but do i hav the time and resources for it?<br /><br />let's see let's see....<br /><br />on my birthday, i juz hav a simple wish...<br />i wan my loved ones to be happy and healthy always! =)<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">thanks everyone for giving me well wishes! =)<br />I appreciate it...<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-16082674604996475632007-10-03T22:47:00.000+08:002007-10-03T22:59:34.807+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Wednesday...<br /><br />If i felt sianz yesterday, I am feeling extremely sianz now...<br /><br />this has been a really testing week so far....and i mean REAL....<br />the chain of events have been testing my patience and my temper in general....<br /><br />i feel very pissed off with whatever has turned out.....VERY PISSED OFF.....<br /><br />u noe...<br />i was attempting this lab report which is due tomorrow just now in the midst of fatigue and a moody patch....<br />i couldn't answer the questions at all!!!<br />and trust me...other than the fact that i haven't touched engineering for 1 year, it is largely because the topic revolving around the question in the lab report hasn't even been taught yet....<br />WTF is wat i'll say....sorry for the vulgarity...i haven't used tis in a very long time but i'm reali feeling very pissed off right now....<br />how am i expected to do? alright, fine, i'm a proactive individual...so i go ahead and research online....but after an hour of googling around, i found nothing useful....<br />NVM....i went to read ahead in the future lecture notes.....And to my disappointment, there was no such 'curves' that the questions in the lab report is asking for......arrghhhHH!<br /><br />Then i went online to book my ippt since my birthday is just a few days away and i need to clear it...<br />the website told me that there are no more available slots 1 week before and after the chosen date...which is tis friday....<br />more trouble...dat means i need to call cmpb tmr to try to find a solution.....as if i'm not busy and vexed enuff!<br /><br />not sure if i mentioned tis yest but my laptop started to show more problems....USB ports don't work anymore...hard disk unstable...<br />i hav no time to bring it down to be checked and serviced....<br />i feel so crippled without it....haiz...<br /><br />there r many decisions awaiting me....i was invited to the invitation only entrepreneurship competition called the Intel-Berkeley Technology Entrepreneurship competition....<br />the school hopes i can represent it and singapore...<br />but i'll hav to submit the business plan in 3wks time...and i was told onli last fri! and then i'll hav to fly over to San Fran in november...juz barely 2wks before my exams....<br /><br />i'm supposed to organize a gathering for my noc folks....which still is undergoing discussion...<br /><br />i hav my fyp report which i want to submit this friday...<br /><br />i hav my part of a project to come up with....by todae? did i say todae? damn it, i was the one who set the deadline and for the first time in tis group, i haven't been able to meet it....<br /><br />wat else?<br /><br />I dono....i feel so alone right now...she's not around...<br /><br />and to think that this is my birthday week...<br />i don tink i'll be happy...<br /><br />my mum asked me just now how i'll be celebrating my birthday....<br />i told her i don need any celebration cos i don usually hav the habit of celebrating it...<br /><br />if i'm being asked the same qns now, i'll juz say dat i wun feel like celebrating it at all...<br /><br />i wish things will be smooth going for me....<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">i wish i wish...<br /><br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><br /></span>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-5022370412247921932007-10-03T02:21:00.000+08:002007-10-03T02:26:35.837+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Tuesday...<br /><br />it has been such a long time since i blogged on this computer that my blog address is no longer in the history of the records....<br /><br />it's 2.30am now and here i am, sitting in my living room, typing on my PC and thinking of going to bed soon...<br />tis has not been a kind week for me...neither was the past weekend...<br />things have not been too smooth going...<br />i hav to be partly responsible for a lack of disciplined time management....<br /><br />but external factors hav played a large part too...<br />anyhow, juz wanted to grumble dat my laptop is down at tis time when i'm ultra busy...<br />the usb ports just failed...hard disk too...<br /><br />tink it may be time for a new laptop oredi...it's been 3yrs...<br />will tink abt it...<br /><br />wanted to complain abt sth else too but i'm lazy to type le....lazy to update oso although there hav been many things going on...<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">sleepy...zzz...</span></span></span><br /><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-3904253649325186782007-09-16T22:41:00.000+08:002007-09-16T22:51:33.067+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Sunday...<br /><br />it's been a really long time since i last blogged....<br />alot has happened too.....obviously... =p<br /><br />just felt like blogging all of a sudden....no particular reason y....<br />i'm not feeling down....neither am i feeling extremely happy for no reason....<br />i feel like myself...the familiar me.....the ultra hungry, ultra driven me....<br /><br />perhaps in my previous posts a mth ago or more, i hav given the impression dat i feel burnt out after the one intensive year in US....maybe i really appeared drained and in dire need of rest....<br />maybe...<br />but right now, i feel as driven as I had always been again....<br /><br />juz plugged in my external hard disk to my laptop to copy some fotos to store in the former...<br />saw some fotos of my EE frens and I during the time before I left for US....<br />saw some of my NOC fotos...<br />lots of memories came flooding back again....<br />hahaz...well, maybe i'm really growing older le....but well, lots of thots did cross my mind....especially during my absence from Singapore....i knew many thgs happened to some ppl here....<br />and automatically, those thots prompted me to tink abt y they happened, whether there wld have been any differences if i was present, whether who wld my gf eventually, whether who wld be my gf's bf eventually, and so on and so forth....lots of thots....<br /><br />maybe dat's y i decided to blog.... =p<br /><br />anyhow, recently, i have not been able to meet some frens when they tried to ask me out...<br />sorry...and i apologise if anyone is reading tis dat is concerned abt the above...<br />i guess everyone's busy and sometimes, it's hard to find a common time when everyone is free....<br />hav faith in me yah....i'll find dat seemingly elusive slot.... =)<br /><br />in the meantime, take care everyone...<br />my bao bei and i r as loving as ever, if not more....<br /><br />hahaz...kk....dat previous line was at the risk of being too mushy.... =p<br /><br />goodnight my dear frens...<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">I will get wat i wAn...<br />=)<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17888790.post-58175947875281820942007-08-29T00:16:00.000+08:002007-08-29T00:33:13.409+08:00<span style="font-family: times new roman;">Tuesday...<br /><br />another one of those nights when I feel like blogging...<br />usually it's either cos i hav many thots on my mind, or when i feel unhappy, or when i feel very happy, or when i feel a little lonely...or well, maybe many other possible reasons.... =p<br /><br />Tonight is a combination of a few reasons...<br />well, anyway....<br /><br />today was sort of a 'free' day for me as I did not go to school....when the action of my final yr project heats up, I guess I will most likely have to go to school on tuesdays as well...<br />I called Alamo in Philaldelphia just 10mins ago....regarding a traffic fine I got in July...<br />The familiar american accent, the familiar american greeting style, the familiarity of the car company, the familiarity of everything american...<br />it made me think of some of the times I spent in US during the past one year....<br />Memorable....<br /><br />Perhaps a coincidence, 3 of my NOC frens msged me tonight on msn...<br />we talked...<br />one of them is still in US, he's one of my closest friends when I was there....he's from my batch....we chatted a little abt relationship and about any exciting new ideas we have....<br />hahaz, it's so fun....we always talked about our ideas, our dreams....<br />I remember the last time we had a nice, long chat that lasted 2hrs+ was at White Lady along 40th and Walnut street....we had dinner there on a Saturday in June....we chatted all night...about business ideas, about entrepreneurship dreams...about relationships....and some gossips as well..<br />it was fun....i always enjoyed talking to him....<br /><br />another fren, she's from my batch too, back in Singapore oredi...<br />we were talking about future job prospects as soon as we graduate if we don startup by then....it's always fun talking to her about all these stuff too cos we always talked about them when we were in Philly...<br />she is so much more diligent than I am when it comes to preparing resumes and attending career talks....hahaz, she zapped me juz now....and yes, i will be pulling my socks up soon...<br />sooner than anyone can imagine.... =p<br /><br />and talking to shamantha now, she's at work...hahaz.....and msning....wah.... =p<br />she was telling me abt some of her stuff and her boyfriend's stuff....sweet couple....<br /><br />ohh, and almost everyone asked me abt how MJ and I are doing too...<br />seems like dat's usually the opening greeting sentence from many of my frens.....hahaz...<br /><br />Someone asked me just this afternoon whether I think of Philly anot....someone asked me on Sunday too...<br />I said, well, sometimes I do...<br />after all, i spent a year there, an intensive one year...living out there and working and studying and socializing and networking....it's much more than I dared to even imagine before i went there...<br />sometimes, I do want to talk to my gf, my family and my frens about my experiences...<br />but usually, I stop at a certain point....<br />some ppl get bored, some feel dat it's irrelevant, some might feel dat i'm showing off....<br />I wan to share...but it also depends whether there are ppl who are interested to interact too....<br /><br />Whenever I speak to my NOC frens who were in philly too, we always get so excited.....i guess it's partly cos we went thru similar experiences together....<br />it was really not easy at times....<br />I mean it....it was really challenging at times....<br /><br />Back in Singapore now where life is so much more comfortable and sheltered, I feel blessed of cos...<br />but the 'training' when I was there has indeed toughened me a lot...<br />Nevertheless, regardless of how challenging it could sometimes be, I still encourage every NUS student who has a chance to embark on this journey of self-discovery, of entrepreneurship explorations...of many other things...<br />I have not been talking about this or sharing many of my thots on my blog in recent months....<br /><br />as I was just telling Sham when she asked y i'm not going to bed yet, tonight is one of those nights when I feel like blogging...<br />MJ is asleep already (she's tired) and well, I just feel like talking....so I guess my blog again is another good source of my 'talk'....<br />hahaz....<br /><br />Anyhow, I'm going to be paid for working for my company here...<br />and guess wat...i'm getting 50% more than wat i used to get....woohoo.... =p<br />well, the money isn't really dat impt actually; i'd willingly do it for free for my mentor, fren, fatherly figure and CFO....<br />it's the excitement from the connection we are still establishing that excites me....<br />He gives me the forever friends feeling...hahaz....<br /><br />Alright, I shall head off to bed soon....<br />and accompany MJ in dreamland....hahaz.....<br /><br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: times new roman;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">More later...<br />The excitement's just begun! =p<br /></span></span></span><span style="font-family: times new roman;"></span></div>Jinfahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17331503643411911672noreply@blogger.com0